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I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my
sister to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the
sink, or else...

I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task.

I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents
down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank.

I then withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise
with it, with the exception of one glass, which I drank.

I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the
whiskey down the sink which I drank.

I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured
the bottle down the glass, which I drank.

I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink
out of it, and threw the rest down the glass.

I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down
the bottle. Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the
drink and drank the pour.

When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one
hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the
other, which were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I
counted them again, and finally I had all the houses in one
bottle, which I drank.

I'm not under tha affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep I am.
I'm not half as thunk as you might drink. I fool so feelish I
don't know who is me, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I
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