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The 10 Most Recent Messages By it409

Take me back to where I was.
  • Date: 3/5/15 4:16 PM
  • Number: 169250
  • Recommendations: 4
After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.

'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so
  • Date: 3/5/15 2:46 PM
  • Number: 169249
  • Recommendations: 8
Funny but so true... first part is a little political but the rest is so common to all of us.
  • Date: 3/5/15 2:31 PM
  • Number: 169248
  • Recommendations: 6
A violinist says to his wife, "Oh, baby, I'd love to play you just like I play my violin."

His wife replies, "I'd rather have you play me like a harmonica!
  • Date: 3/4/15 8:31 PM
  • Number: 169236
  • Recommendations: 2
An elderly blonde plunked two buckets of quarters down in front a
teller at the bank.
The teller, unsure how to handle so much loose change, called the manager.
The manager started to berate the woman for hoarding so many quarters.
  • Date: 3/4/15 8:26 PM
  • Number: 169235
  • Recommendations: 8
An Israeli arrives at London ‘s Heathrow airport.

As he fills out the entry form, the immigration officer asks him: “Occupation?”

The Israeli promptly replies: “No, no, just visiting!”
  • Date: 3/4/15 8:23 PM
  • Number: 169234
  • Recommendations: 24
A married man goes to confessional and tells the priest,
"I had an affair with a woman - almost."
The priest says,
"What do you mean, 'almost'?"
The man says,
"Well, we got undressed and rubbed
  • Date: 3/3/15 7:12 PM
  • Number: 169214
  • Recommendations: 4
A man and a woman are lying in bed late one night... The woman asks her man: "Honey, do you prefer smart or pretty women?"

The man responds calmly, thinking that he has outwitted her little test: "Neither, baby, I prefer
  • Date: 3/3/15 7:10 PM
  • Number: 169213
  • Recommendations: 3
Chemists do it reactively.
Chemists do it in an excited state.
Chemists do it periodically on table.
Chemists do it organically and inorganically.
Electro-chemists do it with greater potential.
Polymer chemists do it in
  • Date: 3/3/15 7:01 PM
  • Number: 169211
  • Recommendations: 10
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed". That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One your friends goes up to her and pointing at you
  • Date: 3/2/15 4:55 PM
  • Number: 169201
  • Recommendations: 40
I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer.

The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.

My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing and I said
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Take me back to where I was.
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