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The 10 Most Recent Messages By it409

Take me back to where I was.
  • Date: 9/27/16 12:03 AM
  • Number: 176078
  • Recommendations: 2
Teach your kids about taxes..... eat 30% of their ice cream.
  • Date: 9/26/16 6:50 AM
  • Number: 176070
  • Recommendations: 9
1. Going to bed early
2. Not leaving my house.
3. Not going to a party.

My childhood punishments have become my adult goals.
  • Date: 9/25/16 7:58 PM
  • Number: 176066
  • Recommendations: 2
Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt.
Donate it to the Slvation Army instead.
They'll clean it and put it on a hanger.
Next morning buy it back for 75 cents.
  • Date: 9/25/16 7:54 PM
  • Number: 176065
  • Recommendations: 2
A guy receives an ad in the mail for a golf resort where everything costs one dollar. He jumps at the offer and heads off for a weekend of fun in the sun.
He arrives and plays a round of golf. It cost him a buck. When he goes for dinner that
(Continued...)
  • Date: 9/25/16 7:48 AM
  • Number: 176053
  • Recommendations: 10
The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8 year old in the apartment
was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.
He began his commentary as his parents
(Continued...)
  • Date: 9/24/16 7:12 PM
  • Number: 176051
  • Recommendations: 5
My boss texted me, “Send me one of your funny jokes.”
I replied, “I’m working at the moment, I will send you one later.”
He replied, “That was fantastic, send me another one."
  • Date: 9/22/16 9:09 PM
  • Number: 176024
  • Recommendations: 8
1. Both take up too much space on the bed.
2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
3. Both mark their territory.
4. Neither tells you what's bothering them.
5. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
6.
(Continued...)
  • Date: 9/22/16 9:07 PM
  • Number: 176023
  • Recommendations: 1
It takes about five hours for sunlight to reach Pluto. It takes eight minutes to reach Earth
  • Date: 9/21/16 8:29 PM
  • Number: 176017
  • Recommendations: 7
We were dressed and ready to go out for a party.
We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.
We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi.
The taxi
(Continued...)
  • Date: 9/21/16 8:19 PM
  • Number: 176016
  • Recommendations: 2
John: My grandfather lived for 96 years & he never used glasses.

Bob: Yes, I know, some people in my family also drink directly from the bottle.
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Take me back to where I was.
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