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The 10 Most Recent Messages By it409

Take me back to where I was.
  • Date: 7/21/17 6:32 AM
  • Number: 178782
  • Recommendations: 1
Why do people say he's a nice person once you get to know him.
They ought to say, Hes an a$$hole, but youll get used to it.
  • Date: 7/20/17 7:25 PM
  • Number: 178781
  • Recommendations: 1
Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D.
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it
  • Date: 7/20/17 10:19 AM
  • Number: 178780
  • Recommendations: 4
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

I intend to live
  • Date: 7/20/17 10:14 AM
  • Number: 178779
  • Recommendations: 12
Every year there is a race from one side of Sweden to the other...

They start at the Norwegian line and end up at the Finnish line.
  • Date: 7/19/17 10:11 PM
  • Number: 178777
  • Recommendations: 3
Interview with 101 year-old Hattie Mae of Kentucky:

Reporter: Can you give us some health tips for reaching the age of 101?

Hattie: For better digestion I drink beer.
In the case of appetite loss I drink white
  • Date: 7/19/17 6:32 PM
  • Number: 178776
  • Recommendations: 4
A soldier, who was habitually drunk, publicly announced to all the men in his company and surrounding companies
that he was swearing off drinking and that all the other soldiers should give up this foul habit also.
The other soldiers would
  • Date: 7/19/17 6:30 PM
  • Number: 178775
  • Recommendations: 1
Two little boys stole a big bag of oranges from a neighbour and decided to go to a calm place to share the lot equally.
One of them suggested the nearby cemetery.
As they were jumping the big gate to enter the cemetery, two oranges fell
  • Date: 7/18/17 10:27 PM
  • Number: 178771
  • Recommendations: 4
Time to go back to elephant jokes.

Sam was travelling by train to Mumbai and was tearing bits out of a newspaper,
rolling them into small balls and then throwing them out of the window.

Perplexed co-passenger: Why are
  • Date: 7/18/17 6:59 PM
  • Number: 178765
  • Recommendations: 4
All Joe king aside

He said he don't usually forward warnings about scams, but this is serious.
There is an awful scam going on out there, targeting defenseless women.
You should tell this to any women you know
  • Date: 7/18/17 6:50 PM
  • Number: 178764
  • Recommendations: 4
A recycled presidential joke

As Air Force One arrives at the Heathrow Airport, President Trump strides to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen.

They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London, where they
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Take me back to where I was.
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