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The 10 Most Recent Messages By it409

Take me back to where I was.
  • Date: 11/20/17 6:50 AM
  • Number: 179856
  • Recommendations: 6
A man was walking down the street one day when he was brutally beaten and robbed.
As he lay unconscious and bleeding, a psychologist, who happened to be passing by,
rushed up to him and exclaimed, "My God! Whoever did this really
  • Date: 11/15/17 2:07 PM
  • Number: 179838
  • Recommendations: 2
A man goes to the psychiatrist with a problem.
"I keep having a recurring nightmare," he says; "and it's scaring me to death."

"Tell me about it."

"Well, there is this nudie bar out in the
  • Date: 11/15/17 2:04 PM
  • Number: 179837
  • Recommendations: 5
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
  • Date: 11/15/17 2:01 PM
  • Number: 179836
  • Recommendations: 1
Seen one named 'HALL LASS'
  • Date: 11/14/17 7:30 PM
  • Number: 179826
  • Recommendations: 12
Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.
  • Date: 11/14/17 10:26 AM
  • Number: 179823
  • Recommendations: 24
I used to sell security alarms door to door, and I was really good at it.
If no one was home, I would just leave a brochure on the kitchen table.
  • Date: 11/14/17 10:24 AM
  • Number: 179822
  • Recommendations: 17
One day at Area 51 a radar tech spots a single engine plane on final approach to the secret Air Force base.
The plane touches down and is immediately surrounded by armed guards.
The plane is impounded and the pilot is whisked off for
  • Date: 11/13/17 10:11 PM
  • Number: 179820
  • Recommendations: 15
Remember when we were young and couldn't wait to be grownup
so we could do what we wanted, when we wanted?
How's that workin' for ya?
  • Date: 11/13/17 9:59 PM
  • Number: 179819
  • Recommendations: 12
A man died and went up to heaven where he was greeted by St. Peter.

"And who are you?" asked St. Peter.
"My name is Steven Richards."
"And what did you do for a living?" asked St. Peter.
  • Date: 11/13/17 9:48 PM
  • Number: 179818
  • Recommendations: 7
I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when
he's on the toilet.

The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm
lying under the coffee
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Take me back to where I was.
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