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The 10 Most Recent Messages By it409

Take me back to where I was.
  • Date: 3/29/17 10:43 PM
  • Number: 177921
  • Recommendations: 4
Some hunters, looking for a place to hunt, pulled into a farmers yard.
The driver went up to the farmhouse to ask permission to hunt.
The old farmer said, "Sure you can hunt, but would you do me a favor?
That old mule standing
  • Date: 3/29/17 6:27 PM
  • Number: 177920
  • Recommendations: 5
One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, "You had a great check-up.
Is there anything that you'd like to talk about or ask me?"
"Well," he said, "I was thinking about getting a
  • Date: 3/29/17 5:59 PM
  • Number: 177919
  • Recommendations: 7
A Scotsman and his wife walked past a swanky restaurant.
"Did you smell that food?" She asked. "It smells absolutely incredible!"
Being a 'kindhearted Scotsman', he thought "What the hell ... I'll treat
  • Date: 3/28/17 7:47 PM
  • Number: 177905
  • Recommendations: 12
How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two.

One to assure the public that everything possible is being done,
while the other screws it into a water faucet.
  • Date: 3/28/17 7:45 PM
  • Number: 177904
  • Recommendations: 12
On the first night I said, "I think there's a monster under my bed..."
"Grow up," she replied.
"No, really," I continued. "It's hideous..."
"Stop p!ssing about," she snapped.
  • Date: 3/28/17 3:26 PM
  • Number: 177900
  • Recommendations: 4
Something I could never understand; If someone doesn't believe in God, how could saying his name be offensive?

I don't believe in Santa Clause, but it don't offend me when his name is mentioned.

  • Date: 3/27/17 9:05 PM
  • Number: 177888
  • Recommendations: 8
If drinks could talk;

Coffee – You can do this!
Wine—You don’t have to do this!
Tequila – Holy sh!t! Did you really just do that ?!!!
  • Date: 3/27/17 5:22 PM
  • Number: 177886
  • Recommendations: 0
Thank you for recommending this post to our Best of feature and remember to wash your hands.
  • Date: 3/27/17 5:18 PM
  • Number: 177885
  • Recommendations: 0
Mama, it's not peanut butter.
  • Date: 3/26/17 7:05 PM
  • Number: 177868
  • Recommendations: 16
In America, we call our inbreds hillbillies.

In Europe, they call them Royals.
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Take me back to where I was.
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