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The 10 Most Recent Messages By it409

Take me back to where I was.
  • Date: 7/28/14 11:03 PM
  • Number: 166245
  • Recommendations: 0
  • Date: 7/28/14 10:54 PM
  • Number: 166244
  • Recommendations: 5
Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink.
Quinn thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.

The late Bishop Sheen stated that the reason the Irish fight so often among themselves is that they're always
  • Date: 7/26/14 7:25 PM
  • Number: 166225
  • Recommendations: 4
The Chicken and The Egg

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face.

The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet and rolls
  • Date: 7/26/14 7:20 PM
  • Number: 166224
  • Recommendations: 9
A woman’s anger is like a Check Engine light...

There’s no easy way to know what caused it, so just ignore it and hope it goes away.
  • Date: 7/26/14 10:06 AM
  • Number: 166215
  • Recommendations: 7
  • Date: 7/25/14 5:20 PM
  • Number: 166209
  • Recommendations: 2
Warning to all dog owners: Watch your dog!

The State Highway Patrol in conjunction with the

FBI has issued a warning advising all dog owners

to keep their dogs indoors until further notice.

Dogs are
  • Date: 7/24/14 9:46 PM
  • Number: 166203
  • Recommendations: 28
A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his
three sons. The instructions left in the will said that
the oldest boy was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third,
and the youngest one-ninth. The three sons, recognizing
  • Date: 7/24/14 9:41 PM
  • Number: 166202
  • Recommendations: 4
I named my dog 5 MILES so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day!
  • Date: 7/24/14 9:39 PM
  • Number: 166201
  • Recommendations: 6
5 Deadly Terms Used by a Woman

1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when she knows she is right and YOU need to shut-up.

2.) NOTHING: Means something and you need to be worried.

  • Date: 7/23/14 11:05 PM
  • Number: 166192
  • Recommendations: 38
Isn't it great to live in a society where the penalty for lying to a congressman is up to 20 years in jail,

...but the penalty for a congressman lying to you is two more years in office.
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Take me back to where I was.
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