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The 10 Most Recent Messages By it409

Take me back to where I was.
  • Date: 12/23/14 6:32 PM
  • Number: 168310
  • Recommendations: 2
I've been married for 49 years. (or it seems like 49 years....) Where have I failed?

I've been in love with the same woman for many years. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me!

My wife and I have the secret to making a
  • Date: 12/23/14 6:22 PM
  • Number: 168307
  • Recommendations: 5
A shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same flight. ''This is exciting,'' thought the gentleman. Perhaps Iíll be able to see him in person. Imagine his surprise when the Pope sat down in the seat next
  • Date: 12/21/14 12:45 PM
  • Number: 168285
  • Recommendations: 2
  • Date: 12/21/14 12:39 PM
  • Number: 168284
  • Recommendations: 0
A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman are sitting in a bar in New York reminiscing about home.

"Back in me pub in Glasgow," brags the Scotsman, "fer every four pints of stout I order, they give me one fer
  • Date: 12/21/14 12:39 PM
  • Number: 168283
  • Recommendations: 0
A man walks into a bar. He sees a good looking,
smartly dressed woman perched on a bar stool. He walks
up behind her and says, "Hi there good looking, how's it going?

Having already had a few power pops, she turns
  • Date: 12/20/14 10:58 PM
  • Number: 168277
  • Recommendations: 4
"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." --U.S. Marine Corps

"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." --USAF Ammo Troop

  • Date: 12/20/14 10:56 PM
  • Number: 168276
  • Recommendations: 3
My friend e-mailed me today asking for a good website about the place to buy the best sausages. I sent him a couple of links.

The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

If you're ever
  • Date: 12/19/14 6:08 AM
  • Number: 168251
  • Recommendations: 3
A guy found a magic lamp and naturally, rubbed it.
The genie popped out and said,
"I'll grant you any wish you want."
The guy thought and thought and finally gave his answer.
"I want to be hard all the time and get
  • Date: 12/19/14 6:04 AM
  • Number: 168250
  • Recommendations: 4
Two old dears having a coffee, one asks the other,
"Did you come on the bus?"
"Yes," she replies, "but I made it look like an asthma attack."
  • Date: 12/18/14 7:04 PM
  • Number: 168244
  • Recommendations: 26
I don't always agree with grand jury decisions....

But if I don't, I sure as hell don't burn my town down.
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Take me back to where I was.
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