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The 10 Most Recent Messages By it409

Take me back to where I was.
  • Date: 6/29/16 7:47 AM
  • Number: 175044
  • Recommendations: 1
Q. What did Clinton say when Paula Jones went public with her story?
A. NOW she decides to open her mouth!
  • Date: 6/29/16 7:40 AM
  • Number: 175043
  • Recommendations: 0
A lawyer's wife dies. At the cemetery, people are appalled to
see that the tombstone reads, "Here lies Phyllis, wife of
Murray, L. L. D., Wills, Divorce, Malpractice,"

Suddenly, Murray bursts into tears. His brother
(Continued...)
  • Date: 6/28/16 11:13 AM
  • Number: 175040
  • Recommendations: 8
Health care costs are rising uncontrollably across the world. In America, taxes have been on the rise just to pay for them.

In England, they have begun rationing health care services and in some cases they have waiting lists for services
(Continued...)
  • Date: 6/27/16 8:30 PM
  • Number: 175037
  • Recommendations: 10
Every year there is a race from one side of Sweden to the other...

They start at the Norwegian line and end up at the Finnish line.
  • Date: 6/27/16 8:24 PM
  • Number: 175036
  • Recommendations: 2
From a smart-ass grandma


I was out walking with my Grandson.

He picked up something off of the ground and started to put it in his mouth.

I took the item away from him and I asked him not to do that.
(Continued...)
  • Date: 6/25/16 6:58 PM
  • Number: 174996
  • Recommendations: 5
Like him or not... this is funny

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymGENUjIdIg
  • Date: 6/25/16 10:44 AM
  • Number: 174991
  • Recommendations: 17
I woke up alone in a hospital room, with no idea how I got there.

The phone rang, and I answered it.

A doctor on the other end identified himself, and told me: "I have really bad news. You're very sick. After your collapse
(Continued...)
  • Date: 6/24/16 9:43 PM
  • Number: 174986
  • Recommendations: 4
  • Date: 6/24/16 11:27 AM
  • Number: 174979
  • Recommendations: 4
Ruth and Golda were walking along Hendon High Street.
Ruth says, "My son Irving is getting married.
He tells me he is engaged to a wonderful girl, but... he thinks she may have a disease called herpes.
Golda says, "Do you
(Continued...)
  • Date: 6/23/16 10:46 PM
  • Number: 174973
  • Recommendations: 7
THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION
ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME
WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE,
AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:


1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has
(Continued...)
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Total = 10

Take me back to where I was.
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