There ya go needling me again. I'll just pine for the days when I got more respect. I think that should do the twig. : )

Tony-
Yew think you deserve respect just because you're poplar? Ah, you can go stick it. Now you're really going to see the fir fly until you spruce things up a bit. Oak-kay? I'll stop when I'maple; in the meantime I'll lumber on, even if it means rowan upstream. And if you insult me, I'll just shrub it off, unless you call me a son of a birch.

-synchronicity

As for the puns, we're not out of the woods yet, but for now, I'm stumped.