Frydaze: He's been sending emails and posting FB statuses that are filled with hatred. Hatred of certain cultures, hatred of homosexuals, hatred of transvestites, hatred of our government, stuff like that. I don't mean dislike or disapproval, I mean all out spewing vitriolic hatred.

There is a common element to the list of the objects of his hatred. It's not at all uncommon, especially among men. It derives from an element of many cultures: the idea that men should be strong, brave, unemotional, and able to confront any menace at any time with heroic action, even when the odds of failure are enormous. The flip side of this cultural element is that women should be weak, dependent, emotional, and in need of protection at all times.

Families that adhere rigidly to this cultural element will tolerate the crying of little girls, but not little boys. Boys of every age will be shamed and punished whenever they cry, or show fear, or reveal their emotions, or when they quail in the face of adversity.

As they grow into adolescence, they find themselves despising any person or group who exhibits the traits for which they were shamed and punished. Such people evoke profound anxiety, which they find they can relieve by rejecting them, hating them, or actually recapitulating the punishments that they once received.

Homosexual males and male transvestites fall into this toxic category, because of the perception that they have chosen a "female" sex role, and to mimic or exaggerate attitudes and behaviors that are stereotypically female. Even the mere thought of male homosexual sex is enough to trigger paroxysms of revulsion and anxiety, which hatred serves to mask and soothe. By hating the very idea, they are reassuring themselves that they will never indulge in such shameful weakness.

People from different cultures are unsafe as well, because their sex roles and behaviors differ. Worse, foreign visitors tend to be hesitant and unforceful, they wear odd clothing, and at least some of them are immigrants and refugees who fled from terrible conditions. Their very oddness triggers the fear of weakness, which hatred serves to mask.

Finally, for many Americans the government is associated with the idea of the "nanny state", an institution that coddles and protects people who really should be standing tall on their own, and which is always telling young men that what they aren't allowed to do. The nanny state is despised and hated because it deprives the brave of their liberties, saps their strength, and seduces them into becoming "girlie boys".

Well, maybe you've heard all this before. I have probably written about my pet theories too many times on this board, and am in danger of becoming repetitive. Maybe even the mere statement of this theory makes some of you a little anxious, down deep inside. Even so, and even if this entire post just makes you hopping mad, I plead with you to consider that this little psychological mechanism may explain the apparently unexplainable vitriolic hatreds that are so often leveled against:

-- those who were so weak as to submit to slavery
-- those whose people have been oppressed for centuries
-- those who act as if they were female and weak
-- those whose cultures are strange and different
-- those who think governments should be helpful and protective

It's all part of a pattern. Those who are caught up in this endless cycle of fear of weakness, revulsion, and hatred find it very hard even to perceive that a pattern exists. Instead, they find scapegoats which they use (metaphorically speaking) to contain everything that they hate and fear the most. That scapegoat might be Jewish, Black, Indian, gay, foreign, or even just a little boy or girl who somehow symbolizes weakness and therefore must be punished, destroyed, raped, and annihilated.

Much of this can be avoided, in large measure, if we will only allow our little boys to cry without shame or ridicule or punishment.

Loren