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Subject:  Haikus For Jews Date:  12/20/2000  12:42 PM
Author:  Scorn6 Number:  326 of 22875

David M. Bader has recently written a book entitled, Haiku's for Jews. Here
are a few examples:

Hey! Get back indoors!
Whatever you were doing
could put an eye out.

Testing the warm milk
on her wrist, she beams-nice, but
her son is forty.

Lovely nose ring-
excuse me while I put my
head in the oven.

After the warm rain,
the sweet scent of camellias.
Did you wipe your feet?

Today I am a
man. On Monday I return
to the seventh grade.

Left the door open
for the Prophet Elijah.
Now our cat is gone.

Beyond Valium,
the peace of knowing one's child
is an internist.

The same kimono
the top geishas are wearing-
got it at Loehmann's.

Scrabble anarchy
after 'putzhead' is placed on
a triple-word score.

The sparkling blue sea
beckons me to wait one hour
after my sandwich.

Would-be convert lost-
thawed Lender's Bagels made a
bad first impression.

Today, mild shvitzing.
Tomorrow, so hot you'll plotz.
Five-day forecast- pfeh

The shivah visit-
So sorry for your loss. Now
back to my problems.

Yom Kippur-forgive
me, God, for the Mercedes
and all the lobsters.

Lonely mantra of
Jewish mother-"They never
call, they never write.."

No fins, no flippers
the gefilte fish swims with
some difficulty.
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