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Subject:  Re: Loss and Living on Your Terms Date:  5/1/2001  11:24 PM
Author:  Amphian Number:  37274 of 876381

Angelina had asked at the funeral if Paul's friends would send stories of Paul's life to her so that Melina would have them when she was old enough to appreciate them. I relished the opportunity to do this for her. I wrote a long, long letter telling Melina not only what her father had done, but who and what he was and how he had touched my life. I hoped that in some small way she would be touched by Paul through my inadequate words.

This is one of the kindest things you could ever have done. I lost my father when I was 8, and it would have meant so much if someone had done that for me. I don't remember my father at all, and I don't know anyone who knew him well enough for me to ask questions now.

I second your message about connecting with people now, while they are alive. I guess that was one useful thing I took from my father's death. I realized that anyone could die at any time.

I do have one suggestion that may make you feel better. Send his wife and daughter a card or an email around the anniversary of his death. My father died 26 years ago next month. In all that time, I can't remember anyone acknowledging it at all after the first year. It feels like I'm the only person in the world who remembers, and it hurts.


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