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Subject:  Re: Loss and Living on Your Terms Date:  5/9/2001  7:20 PM
Author:  Xcentric16 Number:  38188 of 876052

I do have one suggestion that may make you feel better. Send his wife and daughter a card or an email around the anniversary of his death. My father died 26 years ago next month. In all that time, I can't remember anyone acknowledging it at all after the first year. It feels like I'm the only person in the world who remembers, and it hurts.


Hi Amphian,
I agree this is an important gesture to make, and not enough people do it. I would love it if anybody I knew had stories about my parents (they died at separate times a few years back), or had continued to acknowledge my loss or keep in touch over the years. I think people just forget, or get busy, or they're embarrassed and don't know how to ask after you when you're in grief. (A measure of the insane insistence on denying anything to do with death, illness or grief in our culture.)

Anyway, email me if you ever want to talk about what it was like to lose your dad. Kudos to you for not only surviving but thriving.

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