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URL:  http://boards.fool.com/hi-ishtar-i-am-basing-my-response-on-my-17079219.aspx

Subject:  Re: OT: single parent dilemma Date:  4/17/2002  5:25 PM
Author:  jjoniec Number:  123017 of 308369

Hi Ishtar,

I am basing my response on my experience as a child that grew up in a single parent household.

Your daughter will appreciate (eventually) you making the effort to stay in touch with her father. It is the right thing to do.

I am not sure why you want to mention the money that he promised but never delivered on in the letter. I got the impression from your post that you are pretty much resigned to no financial support from him. Are you trying to motivate him to send money? This one is rather sticky because he is not on the birth cert. I do not think that such a plea will be effective, he hasn't sent money before and won't start to now. Other tactics such as definitively establishing paternity in the state's eyes and letting the legal system loose on him might be more effective, but also expensive.

With the above musings in mind, I would lean toward sending the address and picture with the minimum embellishment required for civility, (ie he's missing a great kid). I would not mention the money unless you are prepared to pursue it more aggressively. From reading your posts here, I get the impression that you are a very strong willed, and proud. I am also thinking that mentioning the money would be a small blow to your pride (just guessing), I know my mom didn't pursue my dad for more money because she said it would make her feel like begging. I think being a single parent is hard enough with out putting yourself in a position that compromises your self esteem.

Your milage may vary of course. Good luck, I follow your updates on your life and chandra's with interest and usually come away with inspiration.

Joanna
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