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URL:  http://boards.fool.com/this-is-your-one-and-only-child-have-you-looked-17079268.aspx

Subject:  Re: OT: single parent dilemma Date:  4/17/2002  5:33 PM
Author:  eachna Number:  123020 of 308225

This is your one and only child . Have you looked into getting his rights terminated because he is not forthcoming or paying your little girls bills? You owe him nothing.

Well, he's not on the Birth Cert (it says "no father named") so I don't think he HAS rights.

He would have to want to prove his paternity, or, you would have to want to chase him down to prove his paternity. I'm not a lawyer, but, it might even be enough that you send him letters talking about "his daughter" (or, at least enough to justify the paternity tests). So, while he doesn't have rights *now* (necessarily -- depending on those letters), he certainly *could* have rights.

I don't want this letter to force him to pay, I want this letter to explain how hard it was to ask for help, being the arrogant, independent type that I am, and to know that by ignoring me, not responding, he hurt me (and her.) Does that make sense?

I doubt it's going to have any serious impact on him. He's not going to hear angelic trumpets, with a light shining over his head, saying "Ahhhh...I should have behaved differently", based on anything you write in a letter.

He's going to grow up, or not, on his own.

The best thing you can do for Chandra is leave personal feelinsg out of things. Write letters updating him about her progress, send pictures, and just leave it at that. Make the "token effort" of keeping him updated.

Time, and Chandra's own good judgement will work out the rest of the situation (down the road).

Gwen

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