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Subject:  Re: OT: single parent dilemma Date:  4/17/2002  5:35 PM
Author:  wrnglrjan Number:  123024 of 312161


Wow. You get my commendation for being a great mom, a gutsy woman and a great example for your daughter. I hope you're proud of yourself - you've done what countless women insist can't be done, and nobody should have to do. I hope you'll follow your heart and send your daughter's "father" a letter telling him what you need for him to know.

It sounds like (for reasons that may well be his own fault), he's not in much of a place to help right now. I assume you're not still counting on getting any money from him. It's probably better for your daughter anyway for him to be absent than for him to be in and out of her life. One other thing: I hope your daughter has other men in her life that she can count on. (My biological father wasn't much of a parent to me, but I wouldn't give up the relationship I had with my grandfather for anything.)

So my vote is, you're doing the right thing, for yourself, your daughter and maybe even for him. (Maybe being reminded that he has a child out there that could use his support will help him grow up a little faster.) It might be worth checking with a legal professional about what his rights actually are, given that you've "declared" him the father, even if you didn't put it on her birth certificate. I'd hate to see him wind up with custody of her if something happened to you, for example ...

I don't know how much moral support you've got in your life, but consider yourself one fan richer today than you were yesterday. :)

who appreciates people who put their kids first
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