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Subject:  Re: OT: single parent dilemma Date:  4/17/2002  9:01 PM
Author:  trapcook Number:  123048 of 312155

I will give you every cent I ever make on this earth if this dude ever gets to the point of having to say something like "she kept her away from me."

See, Ish, he's got the best situation in the world - he doesn't pay a dime, he isn't bothered with keeping up with your daughter, etc. Eventually, two things will happen:

1. Contact will be lost between Chandra and her dad, and
2. Chandra will realize that it's not her fault, and will chalk it up to her dad being a bit of a loser, and will not hold you accountable for it. She will realize all of the efforts that you made to keep in contact, and will come to these realizations on her own. This isn't a bad movie, where she'll freak out at you even though it's all his fault that he hasn't kept in touch - she's probably pretty smart, and will figure it out herself.

How do I know all of this? Because my wife and daughter (yes, she's mine, even if it isn't biologically true) went through the same thing. Megan's father always comes up with the reasons that he can't have her out to visit for holidays ("I'm spending it with my girlfriend" is a personal favorite), even if we offer to pay for the ticket (which is the only way it would happen at all).

Write the letter, do your part, just don't expect anything in return. If it hasn't happened yet, it probably won't. And then go find some nice guy that will treat her like his own (we do exist, BTW).

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