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Relationships / Sex and Relationships
|Subject: Re: Handling / Giving Rejection||Date: 11/16/2002 10:46 PM|
|Author: peteyperson||Number: 1372 of 65398|
I met a lady recently on a half blind date (online thing where I had a picture so it wasn't a blind blind date). I call them half-blind dates cos u haven't met before..
It was an interesting experience if a little sad because she was clearly happy to meet me, smiles all over her face and enjoyed my company. Whilst I did like her, she really wasn't my type. She did say beforehand that she wasn't looking for any new friends, just a boyfriend, she was quite blunt about that actually so I let her down easy with a text message to her mobile (this seems to be a trend now here in the UK for better or worse.. ppl don't tell u on the phone anymore). She then called my mobile and I had the split second debate of do I answer and discuss it or not. Normally I would but given her comments earlier I thought it best to let things die naturally.
I felt odd about it for a couple of days as it is unusual for me to turn someone else down. I suppose as I'm more comfortable with who I am, it takes someone "special" in my eyes to want to choose to date her.
I did have a date with someone recently that was odd. Noisy bar, then I suggested a meal. To me I think it is pretty clear to most ppl that you don't do the more expensive meal option unless you 1) like the guy and 2) are interested in him. Otherwise it gives a false impression that you are interested and it wastes time and money frankly. We went through the meal and then half way thru she said, " Oh by the way, you're not my type. " or something to that affect. It certainly sent a chill thru the collective mood as we were getting along fine and it was unexpected at that stage. I thought that was unnecessary and poor timing. She shouldn't have gone for the meal in the first place.
I think you should be upfront and direct with people. Don't leave them hanging, but also don't get them into advanced situations where you shouldn't be if you're not into them. It's just unkind. I think, go for a drink and see what you think. Don't do anything else unless you like the person. That's the way I see it anyway.
Just saw tonight's episode of "Blind Date," in which Jackie, the female WWE wrestler dumped her blind date, Josh, a lab technician (with a great bod). According to the subtext satire, it took her over 7 hours to reject him. One of the bubbles of wisdom over his head was, "you could have just said, 'no.' "
Personally, I do have difficulty giving rejection to people (regardless of the type of relationship), unless it's in the middle of a really bad argument (screaming, ranting, raving, etc.) when there are no holds-barred. As a woman, I think this is typical for myself and that guys are usually a bit more direct (but not absolute). It may be a cultural issue though (I've learned the screaming, etc. from family).
How have you heard or felt rejection, either directly or from chatting from friends?
P.S. There seems to be a little series on WWE female wrestlers on "Blind Date." Any guys interested in dating a woman stronger and bigger than he is? :-)
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