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Folly in 50 States and the World / Folly in California


Subject:  Re: Our Lame Duck Date:  10/17/2003  7:02 AM
Author:  whafa Number:  8616 of 12907

I'm glad you have 9 brothers and sisters too, but I'm sure you would have preferred that this didn't come about in this way. How did your dad manage to support 9 children? Or did he?

Actually, I wouldn't wish for anything else. There's no way to know what I would be like if my parents had stayed together. Yes, my dad has supported all of his kids. He is a very successful, driven man, who got into CA real-estate in the early 70s. There may be something wrong with him, upstairs, but supporting his kids financially was never an issue. And we all still see him frequently and (for the most part) have a good relationship with him.

Anyway, didn't mean to meander so much from the topic at hand:

But marriage - not in the sense of going to some courthouse and getting a piece of paper, but in the sense of a lifelong full and complete commitment - definitely contributes to the health and well being of children. . .

In my view, and this comes from 5 years of working in the divorce field, there is no substitute for a lifelong, permanent commitment between two healthy and mature adults.

I don't think anyone could disagree with you on this. But I'm sure you know, being involved in the field (I assume you're divorce lawyer?), that a depressingly large number of marriages, maybe even the majority of marriages, do not result in a lifelong, permanent committment.

I think your concerns about the children raised from gay marriages are valid. But I don't think that, because it MIGHT not work, we should never try it. Perhaps, condoning and supporting institutional marriage for gay couples would actually HELP the children raised in such environments, because they would feel less different than their peers who were raised under same-sex, condoned marriages. Perhaps it's the taboo that contributes to the child's possible issues.

Let me ask you this: If raising children were not an issue (if married gay couples could never adopt, for instance, and assuming for simplicity neither one had a kid from an earlier hetero relationship), would you still have a problem with condoning gay marriage?

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