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Subject:  More on older than dirt.... Date:  12/10/2003  5:17 PM
Author:  Tuni Number:  8839 of 20035

Subject: Are you older than dirt?

Hey Dad," one of my kids asked the other day, "What was your favorite
fast food when you were growing up?"

"We didn't have fast food when I was growing up," I informed him. "All
the food was slow."

"C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?"

"It was a place called 'at home," I explained. "Grandma cooked every
day and when Grandpa got home from work, we sat down together at the
dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was
allowed to sit there until I did like it."

By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to
suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.

But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood
if I figured his system could have handled it: Some parents NEVER owned
their own house, wore Levis, set foot on a golf course, traveled out of
the country or had a credit card. In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears AND Roebuck. Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore.
Maybe he died.

My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because
we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50
pounds, and only had one speed, (slow).

We didn't have a television in our house until I was 8, but my
grandparents had one before that. It was, of course, black and white, but they bought a piece of colored plastic to cover the screen. The top third was blue, like the sky, and the bottom third was green, like grass. The middle third was red. It was perf