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URL:  http://boards.fool.com/dearest-roy-your-post-brought-tears-to-my-eyes-23171511.aspx

Subject:  Re: OT: Career crisis Date:  10/16/2005  10:49 AM
Author:  xraymd Number:  212628 of 308519

Dearest Roy, your post brought tears to my eyes; it was so kind and sweet. And you are so right about how skewed I've been and so unlike myself - I'm normally a sunny person and enjoy smiling and laughing with the people I work with (though as you can also surmise I do like to get down to the details to get everything done so I'm not a 100% cut-up but I enjoy being a positive force). In the past few months and especially in the past most recent few weeks since early September when my job duties changed (now I round every week in the hospital rather than every other week so that's even MORE hours on duty - and now I am no longer receiving any new patients), my attitude has turned dark and gloomy. I really have stopped smiling overall and people are being unbearably delicate with me because they are aware that I am mega-stressed.

That is no way to live in the long run. There is no relief on the horizon and I have not been able to get the powers-that-be to understand that I am getting fried here with their insistence that I do things their way. It's just not working.

The worst to me is that I have stopped to say "thank you" nearly as much as I used to when anybody really does try to do something nice for me. Our office manager took time out to write me a very lovely personal card to sympathize with me and to let me know she would try to do anything possible to help me. I should have been in her office first thing after receiving this card but I just couldn't say anything to her right away because I did not want to break down and bawl (which I would have) when I had a full afternoon of patients to see and labs and xrays to sign off and a stack of mail to go through and phone calls to return. I tried to find her at the end of the day but she was already gone and I know she is feeling unappreciated for her nice gesture as though I brushed it off. I've been considering calling her at home this weekend. If I cry, so I cry, but I don't have office duties this weekend so I don't have to keep holding it together. (Though I am on call this evening.)

Blech. This has to go one way or the other. You are SO RIGHT about that rock and thanks again for your deeply appreciated words of support.

xraymd
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