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Subject:  I guess I am the only step parent.., ok... Date:  12/20/2005  1:28 PM
Author:  Tigorious Number:  18 of 35

Since it seems I have this board to myself, I will use this as my personal step parent log.

I am having so many difficulties of late knowing what to do with my 17.5 year old stepdaughter.

I am married to her bio father. She loves him and is very bonded to him. She also sees him as a pushover and at this point, has very little respect for him. I know this is the "teenager" in her speaking and acting.

Her bio mother, who I happen to get along with...though I think is an idiot, is having massive trouble with her. Most of this is just normal mother daughter stuff.

I am probably the "adult" that my stepdaughter respects most at this point. I have throughout the years been the one who has been there both emotionally as well as physically for her.

I get really torn between telling her what is best for her and sticking with the parental party line. She is a wonderful girl, but she is not very bright. I am so worried about her. She is making really bad choices. Neither of her parents seem to understand. They each feel so much guilt towards her. They feel guilt about divorcing when she was 3 and they feel guilt because each has put their "lives" before her. They each in their own way, spoil her rotten. I am the only one who ever made her mind and act "right". Now, she and I are closer than she is with her bio parents.

As a step parent, I know that at anytime I can be turned on.
As a step child , I am almost ashamed at the number of times I said, "You are not my REAL parent!"

I do not know how far to cross the line.
I also do not want to disrespect my husband.
The advice this girl needs deals with birth control, drugs and well, you name it. I know though, if I talk with her and she is "offended" she will tell both of her bio parents and then I will have to hear the "YOU ARE NOT HER REAL PARENT."

Personally, I do know that I can't handle it. (too much karma?..ha ha
ha)

I have tried to softly push some of the things that need to be said with her, but I do believe that it is time for a more forceful approach.
I am not naive and I know that she will do what she wants at this point. I just don't want to have regrets, either for her or me.

I do hope someone reads this board.......eventually.........


I wish you well..........

Tigorious
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