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Subject:  EZPass express lanes Date:  1/3/2006  11:17 PM
Author:  ModernViking Number:  194 of 207

The following bulletin is addressed to all customers using EZPass toll collection transponders along the East Coast:

"In the interest of meeting a growing public demand for the convenience of EZPass, we have reconfigured numerous toll plazas along the I-95 corridor and at other locations to accomodate higher travel speeds through the plazas. You will notice these special lanes clearly marked with the friendly "EZPass ONLY" signing as well as the posted speed limit, which is significantly higher than the 10 or 15 mph allowed at normal cash only lanes configured to allow EZPass. Unlike everywhere else, it is important that you not exceed the speed limit through these express lanes by more than 10 mph or you may actually be flagged for a speeding violation.

"However, it is equally important to maintain speed through the express lanes so as not to impede traffic. If your driving skill is sufficiently lacking to prevent traversing the Express lane at a speed bewteen 0 to 5 mph above the posted speed limit, kindly join the puttering throngs of cash-payers and use one of the old slow-joe EZPass lanes so smart people will not be inconvenienced. Be aware that slowing to 15 mph in a 30mph express lane can result in a nasty lodging of a large vehicle in your nether regions.

"Thank you for your cooperation and for helping us to make the EZPass system the best toll collection system in the entire world!"

In summary, if you're approaching the toll plaza at the Francis Scott Key Bridge on I-695 in Maryland and you feel it necessary to slow down to 15 mph, DONT USE THE FRIGGIN' 30 mph EXPRESS LANE.

P.S. The attached bulletin is not official and is not endorsed by EZPass or any governmental agency and is for entertainment purposes only... but heed the message! And happy motoring!
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