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Subject:  Re: helping my mom retire Date:  1/28/2008  10:51 PM
Author:  DorothyM Number:  1221 of 1845

To Doug: Mom's drinking is another aspect of her life she refuses to discuss and finds insulting if anyone is concerned. However, I've always considered her an alcoholic. She also suffers from depression but has never sought treatment. In her eyes, she's sad and she drinks because her life sucks, not the other way around. And of course, her life sucks because people are mean to her and she has bad luck (not because she makes poor choices).

I should have picked up on the drinking -- it didn't occur to me until I read (and rec'd) dougdoogle's post. My father was an alcoholic. He did get sober, but an alcoholic leaves a lot of damage in his/her wake. Some of the best advice in how to deal with your mother while preserving your own sanity might come from an Al-Anon group. There is absolutely nothing you can do while she's still drinking, but removing the alcohol is not going to make her, by magic, into a sensible and sane person.

My heart aches for you but I wish you all the best. Don't try to do everything alone. The boards will help a lot and a congenial Al-Anon group will help a lot too but in a different way.
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