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URL:  http://boards.fool.com/maybe-so-but-i-would-not-be-comfortable-with-it-27854823.aspx

Subject:  Re: A FINISHING THING Date:  8/1/2009  11:55 PM
Author:  ishtarastarte Number:  3732 of 4954

Maybe so, but I would not be comfortable with it.

My personal rules/guidelines do allow for the idea of open relationships. But by my rules, the wife would need to have a face-to-face conversation with me and explicitedly state that it was ok for me to have a relationship with her husband. (and yes, this has actually happened.)

And I've also known men who CLAIMED to have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy with their wives. But the wives were not aware of this. How do I know? I had someone ask the wife. The wives in this situation *always* thought their relationship was monogamous (in my experience).

I have a friend this happened to, as well. Guy flirted with her outrageously at every event they were at together. She thought they were getting together at this one event, asked about his wife. "oh, you know, don't ask, don't tell; what happens at War stays at War (SCA events)"

A mutual friend was having a conversation with the wife and asked, "just out of curiousity: is your relationship with X monogamous?" "Hell YES, it's monogamous; who said any different?"

Unless you speak to the wife, can you be sure he's not lying?

Of course, I'm not the sl*t I was 20 years ago, but my personal rules were created for a reason.

Ishtar
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