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Subject:  Re: A FINISHING THING Date:  8/3/2009  11:28 AM
Author:  lovingrose Number:  3740 of 5355

"don't ask, don't tell" means she doesn't know what's going on, therefore it is not above-board.
I get the feeling that the "don't ask, don't tell" means both of them have extra-curricular 'friendships', so I suspect she does know about his outside-the-marriage friends. I'm sure she also has 'friends' outside the marriage.
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