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Family Life / Parenting Troubled Kids
|Subject: XP: 22y.o. w/ multiple psychoses||Date: 6/6/2010 12:12 AM|
|Author: lcd186||Number: 196 of 198|
I am cross-posting this from the "Parenting Teens and Young Adults" in case anyone on this board is still reading and active.
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First, some personal background which may not be directly relevant, but might be helpful.
I am a 46-years-old woman living in the ever-interesting city of New York City (outer boroughs). I have not worked full-time since the year after 9/11, but have had sporadic short-term temporary work. Happily two months ago I was approved for SSI/SSD primarily based on my own history of a psychiatric diagnosis, bipolar disorder, and in particular my hospitalization in fall 2009.
I have never had my own kids and only sporadically babysat for friends, neighbors, etc., but usually "normal" kids, meaning without fullblown psychiatric diagnoses. In the last six years, my 21-years-old godnephew (GN) - soon to be 22y.o. - has frequently spent a lot of time (over the years and months) staying at my apartment as his parents have essentially thrown him out since about 20y.o. He spends a lot of time at his grandparents' house and miscellaneous friends as well. This one isn't my immediate concern though, but in the near future I think I need to make a choice about him. For future reference, I'll refer to him as "Jack."
My main concern is my now 22-years-old godchild. Let's call him "Nick." He stayed with me last year after running away from his parents and biological family in the midwest, and came to NYC. Before my hospitalization in fall 2009, Nick returned to the midwest, eventually catching up with his biological family again, but again having a falling out.
Note: I do not get along with his biological family at all (they have made violent threats and are generally mentally unbalanced at many levels as well) and I actually didn't know anything until bumping into Nick unexpectedly in NYC last year. Since the age of 16, Nick has had a history of several separate psychiatric hospitalizations for self-injury to attempted suicide. Much of this has been related to Nick's coming out as gay and at times gender dysphoric.
Though his psychiatric history includes diagnosis of bipolar disorder, schizotypal disorder, and major depression, I believe the strongest and most relevant diagnosis is Borderline Personality Disorder with strong features of Antisocial Personality Disorder. He also suffers from a lot of anxiety and other things, but the aforementioned are the most prominent.
When he lived with me, it was a roller coaster of both moods and behaviors. He turned my household upside down despite my repeated, failed attempts to set down clear household rules, from as basic as cleaning up after himself to no guests. I now realize too late that I should have also had clear penalties for each, but I just didn't anticipate anything.
In general has never lived independently without severe dysfunction (e.g. other than the hospitalizations, he has runaw