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Social Clubs / Everyday Ethics
|Subject: On Reinventing Yourself||Date: 9/25/2012 4:30 PM|
|Author: legalwordwarrior||Number: 4663 of 5352|
If you were talking to the spouse of someone you went to college with, how careful would you be in describing how well you knew the person you went to school with. What if you had a, well let's just say a bit of a reputation around said school? What would you say to the spouse of the former classmate?
Now, take that a step further. What if you didn't realize that the spouse you were talking to actually went to school with you, and is very well aware of your past?
It seems to me that there is a thin line between leaving out details and completely reinventing yourself. I ran into this situation over the weekend.
First, gotta love FB. It helps old friends reconnect and we all love seeing how each other's kids have grown up and some of us have grandkids now...okay fine, it's not necessarily all it's cracked up to be. When DH and I married, I dropped my maiden name and began to identify myself with first/middle/hubbys last name, and that's what identifies me on FB.
Here's where it gets fun: there was a girl I went to HS with who dated every single guy I went out with except DH. This was most likely because I ended up marrying DH, so she never got the chance. Her BFF was a young lady who was a year ahead of us in school. Let's just say "J" was worldly and quite knowledgeable when we were in college.
A couple of years ago, she sent DH a friend request. DH didn't remember her really well, as she graduated at the end of his freshman year, but she is good friends with several of his fraternity brothers, so he added her to the list. She's had some problems with a blended family over the past few years and DH has helped her with advice and resources to help her youngest get into college.
Last week she sent me a friend request. She was one of those people who knew everyone when we were in school. When she walked into a room, multiple people would always call her by name. Between the two of us, she was a standout and I was a wallflower.
So while talking about the Texas Honor Ride, she sent me a message asking about how it went, she wished she could have been there, etc, and I suggested that she come down next year and even if she didn't bring a bike, I was sure we could find someone who would be willing to let her ride behind them. She got really excited and said she would and she was marking the date on her calendar, etc. Then she typed something completely unnecessary:
"R was one of those people who helped pull me out of myself when I was so shy in college."
Really? The guy who was two years behind you, that you didn't even meet until the semester before you graduated and got married was the guy responsible for pulling you out of yourself?
I replied that I found it amazing* that she was so shy, given that she always seemed to poised and self-assured whenever I saw her.
Me?? Oh no, I was so painfully shy I was scared of my own shadow!Wait, were you there?!? What was your maiden name?"
I told her. There was radio silence on the message window for a full 10 minutes. She then recovered her poise and told me she had no idea that we had even been dating back then, ha,ha, and what a lucky girl I was to have married DH.
Meanwhile, DH was reading this exchange with tears of laughter in his eyes.
Moral of the story: it's okay to just say "I went to school with your DH" There's no need to make it more of a connection than it actually was.
*attended finishing school
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