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Subject:  Re: He Lost 95% of His "Friends" Date:  10/17/2012  8:10 PM
Author:  AngelMay Number:  183706 of 199080

DH and I will get a joint bank account for bill paying. We'll maintain separate accounts and credit cards for personal spending because I learned in my last marriage that it works well for me. (I'm a control freak, and it's important to clearly deliniate my areas of control even though DH is much better with money than xDH was.) It's not the right system for everyone, but it is for us.

We have many goals in common... but a few individual ones. And since we are not the same person, those individual goals need to be respected and nurtured by both of us.

First of all - congrats and best wishes for the marriage. I hope you will be very happy and successful at it.

Secondly, I have argued many times on these boards that every woman - every person - should have her own bank account and her own investment accounts - in other words, she should have her own money. Money is power and without it she has no power. She cannot leave an abusive relationship, because she would have no resources with which to leave. Everyone thinks when they get married that it will be the most wonderful thing that ever happened - and their husband (or wife) will never cheat on them or be cruel. But one day they wake up and find they are in the middle of a nightmare with no escape route - no way out.

Having one's own money also teaches you how to invest and handle finances - something EVERYONE needs to know.

We also have one joint bank account from which bills are paid. But our own accounts and wholly individually owned. I urge every woman to insist on having her own money. I urge every man who cares about his wife to see to it that she does.

This is where you find out who trusts their spouse and who does not. This is where the men are separated from the boys. :)

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