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Personal Finances / Living Below Your Means
|Subject: Re: Since you asked...||Date: 3/23/2013 12:24 PM|
|Author: Windowseat||Number: 872659 of 898763|
Women, she believes, are conditioned to be more patient with children, to be better multitaskers, to be more tolerant of the quotidian grind of playdates and temper tantrums; “women,” she says, “keep it together better than guys do."
That's my first complaint about the article, right there. A majority of women may be better suited at being parents than men, but I know plenty of cases where either both parents had an equal amount of good parenting skills, or where the husband was actually better, and sometimes less-stressed, about raising children. For years my brother combed his oldest daughter's hair. My SIL was too impatient, and she jerked the comb through, which led to tears and complaints and irritation on both sides. So my brother, who has an incredible amount of patience, would be the one to comb it. And later, when she liked the bald look, he shaved her head for her.
There are cases where there's a trade-off; the mother stays at home for a few years, then goes back to the working world, and the father changes to a job where he can spend more time at home. The irritating part of the article is that they give some attention to new situations, but keep framing it the same way; women are better at being parents and staying home.
And now women who like working, and whose kids are well-taken care of, are going to be hit with the same club, one more time: Good Mommies Stay Home.
Not always. Sometimes they work because they don't see a way of saving for the kids' college and the parents' retirement at the same time. Sometimes, due to financial hardship, they have to keep working because they can't afford to move, and they can't make the mortgage payments without her contribution. Sometimes the father isn't making as much as people think, or he is in a profession where work comes in at irregular intervals (actors, writers, consultants and so on), and it's her paycheck that keeps the money flowing regularly. Or maybe she's in the job with the medical benefits, and she doesn't want to give that up.
I wish people would just get over this. There is no one answer. Different strokes and all that. Couples should work out a system that works for them, and not rely on media articles to tell them how to organize their lives.
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