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|Subject: Re: A single mushroom can change personality||Date: 3/24/2013 9:10 AM|
|Author: LuckyDog2002||Number: 675663 of 853047|
I never had the opportunity to try mushroom although I had read about them way back when. If it had been available through druggie friends/acquaintances back then I would have tried it.
My drug use was pretty small in comparison. Smoked pot for the first time at my high school graduation. We were drinking too so other than the fact I was smoking an illegal substance, I really didn't notice anything. I got drunk as a skunk on pop wine.
With friends I made on the CB radio(they couldn't see I was obese, so they got to know "me" and it was easier for me to communicate with them), I met a few and went to parties where smoking dope and drinking were the unifying factors. I started buying pot in bulk to save money and to sell to these same acquaintances. I worked but nights and weekends, I was drinking and smoking dope. My motto was more is better which is the same with eating food. Volume was the goal. I smoked hash, was injected with crank twice at two different parties...kinda of speedy feeling but with pot and alcohol use, its effect was minimal.
Since I had had my deviated septum fixed, I completely crossed off cocaine, not that I knew anyone who sold it, but I read in a drug book about people using it compulsively and burning holes in their nose cartiledge so I knew that would happen to me if I did it so x marks that spot. :)
There was a spell where my "friends" liked to use valium in quantity so I did it too. We would of course, use pot and alcohol too and it was pretty ridiculous when I thought about it, sitting around like old folks in a nursing home, not conversing, just zonked out. Nuts but for a lonely girl who had no real friends and didn't know how to make or be a friend, this was it for me. Very sad.
I did like the whole rebel thing.....it was all illegal and risky and chit like that. I shake my head at that but it was part of my life and learning.
The pot dealer I used got busted by the state police and I didn't trust that guy, so I buried what pot I had left in the back yard during the winter...thinking at the time they couldn't somehow see the holes I dug. ROFL The guy got jail time and around this same time or maybe earlier. I had lost a lot of wgt and started running and developed other interests like ham radio...amateur radio which at the time required that you learn Morse code and basic theory. I took classes and practiced and traveled to North Carolina one weekend to get my Novice license. Anyway, I couldn't stay stoned to do all that.
One weekend, I was putting together a transceiver I bought at Radio Shack. It takes concentration to solder all those doohickey's and I was expecting a pot delivery at the same time. These friends kept calling me on the phone bugging the chit out of me to see when I got the dope. I remember thinking that these people were such losers with no lives and I really saw my life clearly at the time...that using drugs was a waste of time, money and brain cells. Smoking pot also burned the heck out of lungs too and I really paid the price running the next day. Ack!
After the guy got busted, I stopped dealing and if I bought it was just for myself.
I last remember smoking dope in my bedroom when my daddy was dying of brain cancer, but it comes back to me now that I did smoke after he died and it made me extremely paranoid and I heard things.....something must have been in it or I was at the end stage of pot addiction. I dunno...it didn't take a whole joint to make my eyes red and my off feeling. Strange.
Then in 1986, I started going to Adult Children of Alcoholics/Al Anon meetings and started learning about myself, my upbringing and emotions for the first time. I used all those substance to cope with feelings and I started with using food as a kid. That will always be my drug of choice.
Okay I'm done, time to finish breakfast and COFFEE!
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