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Personal Finances / Living Below Your Means


Subject:  Re: Since you asked... Date:  3/24/2013  11:51 AM
Author:  lindytoes Number:  872719 of 902802

Not always. Sometimes they work because they don't see a way of saving for the kids' college and the parents' retirement at the same time. Sometimes, due to financial hardship, they have to keep working because they can't afford to move, and they can't make the mortgage payments without her contribution. Sometimes the father isn't making as much as people think, or he is in a profession where work comes in at irregular intervals (actors, writers, consultants and so on), and it's her paycheck that keeps the money flowing regularly. Or maybe she's in the job with the medical benefits, and she doesn't want to give that up. <sigh>
I wish people would just get over this. There is no one answer. Different strokes and all that. Couples should work out a system that works for them, and not rely on media articles to tell them how to organize their lives.

I'm so glad I'm not in the workforce any more. It is so stressful, no matter what you do.

I agree with Nancy. My husband was a stay-at-home dad in 1983. (It just so happens that the daycare child abuse was raging and I was a secretary so child care was expensive for us.) He was working on his Masters and taking care of a newborn. Then I got pregnant by accident, ended up with only 17 months between our children. He was a staying at home with a toddler and a newborn. He was great at it. He was always more patient. His upbringing was better for discipline (although I always thought a little too strict). But that's the thing. We balanced each other. As it turned out, he didn't finish his degree (Masters in Religion with not much hope to get a Ph.D. to teach) and only had intermittent jobs until the last 12 years of his life. I kept my job and my benefits, especially because of the health care, and we survived.

The argument that women are better at multitasking, at nurturing, at taking care of children is ridiculous. I'm sure there are plenty of men that would be true of. Just as there are with women. Every situation has it's own dynamics.

A woman who writes nonsense like this article is delusional. Maybe she is better than her husband at those things. That doesn't mean every woman is.

Oh, and btw I still did a lot of the housework and the yardwork. That was still a problem throughout our marriage. I cared more about those things than he did.
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