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Subject:  Re: Poll: Where to live Date:  7/19/2013  4:49 PM
Author:  alstroemeria Number:  18499 of 20640

She feels young and alive and thinks a 55+ place is for the elderly. But she might enjoy being in the same facility/community with a couple of friends when she's older and alone. Also, is she accustomed to taking care of things like bill paying, arranging for services like car maintenance, lawn care, handyman? If you take care of all that, a SFH might be a little overwhelming when she's suddenly alone and grieving.

My mother's 87 and happy in a SFH. She always took care of everything--bill paying, arranging for services, so no adjustment on that score after Daddy died. A bigger adjustment was the fact that he did all the cooking after he retired, many years before she did.

She isn't staying there for the memories--she bought this house next door to me a couple of years after Daddy died. She's a little lonely sometimes, but she has her clubs and friends, errands and chores. She doesn't drive much any more, and this isn't a place with good public transit. When I'm home (we travel a lot, these days gone about 6 months a year), I take her on every kind of appointment--this time, I made most of the appointments for her. I think she's beginning to lose a tiny bit of executive function at this point. I tried to persuade her to go into the local continuing care community, which has active living, assisted living, and nursing home all on a single campus, but she finds the thought of being around so many old people repellant(!).
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