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Dear Parent:

Feel free to lurk and post here at will. It is a forum open to all that partake of TMF and you are welcome to do so. However, in order to maintain a bit of purpose and decorum, please abide by a few rules:

1) We have chosen not to have kids. This choice is not a question of your values or your choices, but rather a reflection of our individual circunstances, beliefs and desires.

2) We are confortable with our choice of being CF. Some of us are willing to discuss our rationale, reasons and motives, some are not. Either way, our choice has no direct impact in your life (unless you count the fact that we subsidize your kids education, and we pay more in income taxes because we do not get child tax credits, etc.) and therefore do not expect us to explain this choice to you or respond amicably when you question this choice.

3) Some of us actually like children. We have nephews and nieces as well as friends that have children. Calling us "child hater" or variations on the theme is not exactly adding to any discussion.

4) Some children (not yours, of course) will misbehave. we realize that and actually expect it. However, in these occasions we expect parents to take control of the situation and either make their child stop or remove the child from the public. This is not about hating children, this is about wanting to live in a civilized space and being able to share that space with total strangers.

5) While "children are our future", this works both ways, do you really want that brat at the grocery store running the company where you have invested for your retirement? Somehow I think that Ken Lay and company were spoiled brats as children.

6) Some of us chose not to become parents because we realize the extent of the responsibilities and duties of being a parent. We also realize the level and length of the commitment required to be a good parent and decided that this path was not for us. Therefore, when we see parents shirking the responsibilities that they either directly or indirectly chose to assume we get a bit upset. This board is a safe place where we can rant about these parents with people of similar values.

7) We don't (necessarily) think that we would be better parents than any of the ones we rant about however, we don't have to be. You see, we chose not to have children.

8) To various degrees, we choose to partake in activities where kids will not interfere. Be it at a romantic dinner for two or an adventure vacation for 10. There are times and places, even in a child centric world, where kids are not appropriate. We hope that parents can appreciate that.

So please lurk and post all you want, even give us tips on how to approach parents and (mis)behaving children, we are certainly looking for effective advice in living in a child centric world. But please, don't preach, cajole, condescend, or attempt to convert us.

Thank you

Respectifully submitted by one half of a CF couple,

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