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Author: larryjee Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 311074  
Subject: Re: Spouse Could Care Less (long) Date: 8/17/2001 3:46 PM
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about the husband that is running up the debt.. I was married to two women, neither of whom could understand my finances nor could i understand their approach to finances. I have since learned, that what to me are among ehe easiest things in life - balancing a checkbook, living within your means, and saving for a rainy-day period, completely confuse and baffle others. There are too hassles, problems and issues related to life in general to screw up your entire life by trying to explain to someone that spending is not saving, even if it was bought 'on-sale.'

my only advise, if that is what you are looking for, cancel ALL credit cards, and DO NOT open any more. If you do, open only under your middle and maiden name with a special password that he'll never figure out, and the statements going to either an email or post office box.

once this is done, publish a notice that you are no longer responsible for his debts, open a separate checking and savings account, and make a decision about serving the papers on him. He will NEVER change and you either must get used to being always frustrated and in debt, or get a fresh start. Even if you move all the debts to him when you separate, if he declares bankruptcy or doesnt pay them off, it will be reflected in your credit rating, so you might have to bite the bullet and accept the debts as yours - they are in your name, and pay them off.

no matter how much you really are madly in love with this guy, the frustration and aggravation that you feel about the debts will over-shadow any warm and fuzzy feelings that you might have and lead to continuous arguements, tension, illness, sleeplessness and other types of symptoms totally unrelated to the debt - such as alcohol, drugs, over/under eating and on and on. Actually if you re-read your letter/posing, i think that you will see that you already are aware that the situation is not going to improve, and there is only one optimal course of action to take.

post how it goes.

good luck .
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