Again, I'm not sure I want out of this deal, but I'm very leery about the way this dealership has been treating me.

That in itself may be sufficient reason to get out. I agree with the others that you seem to have gotten a good deal, but I also question the dealer's tactics. It could be that they hope you'll absolutely fall in love with the van before your husband returns, and he'll go along to keep you happy. I know if it were me, I'd probably rather be pissed off at the dealer than have my wife pissed of at ME! :)

As for the oil changes, unless that's in writing you are not obligated to have your oil changes done there. And on the "tires for life", you had mentioned that they reserve the right to substitute different tires. That probably won't happen, but I would think you could probably "upgrade" to preferred tires by paying the difference in price. And from what I understand, they get the tires pretty damn cheap, so it doesn't cost them a lot of money to offer that.

Thanks for the advice. I know I'm being really anal here, but that's me!

You're not being anal. It's a lot of money and you should be comfortable with everything.

cbull