No. of Recommendations: 26
Agnes: Seymour, win Marge Madness this year!
Skinner: I'm not the principal of this message board, mother.
Agnes: And you never will be!


My favorite Skinner moment -- courtesy of snpp.com...

Chalmers: Seymour!
Skinner: Superintendent; I was just, uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise. Care to join me?
Chalmers: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
Skinner: Uh, oh, that isn't smoke, it's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmm -- steamed clams.

Skinner jumps out the window and runs over to the Krusty Burger after Chalmers leaves. A few minutes later, Skinner makes an entrance the dining room carrying a big platter of Krusty Burgers.

Skinner: Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouth-watering hamburgers.
Chalmers: I thought we were having steamed clams.
Skinner: Oh, no, I said, "steamed hams." That's what I call hamburgers.
Chalmers: You call hamburgers steamed hams.
Skinner: Yes, it's a regional dialect.
Chalmers: Uh-huh. What region?
Skinner: Uh, upstate New York.
Chalmers: Really. Well, I'm from Utica and I never heard anyone use the phrase, "steamed hams."
Skinner: Oh, not in Utica, no; it's an Albany expression.
Chalmers: I see.

Chalmers: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones the have at Krusty Burger.
Skinner: Oh, no, patented Skinner Burgers. Old family recipe.
Chalmers: For steamed hams.
Skinner: Yes.
Chalmers: Yes, and you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.
Skinner: Uh ... you know ... one thing I sh-- ... 'scuse me for one second.
Chalmers: Of course.

Skinner retires to the kitchen for a second. When he walks back
into the dining room, we can see that the entire kitchen is in
flames.


Skinner: [faking a yawn] Well, that was wonderful. Good time was had by all. I'm pooped.
Chalmers: Yes, I guess I should be -- Good Lord, what is happening in there?
Skinner: Aurora Borealis?
Chalmers: Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? A this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Skinner: Yes.
Chalmers: May I see it?
Skinner: Oh, erm... No.

Skinner escorts Chalmers back outside.

Agnes: [offscreen] Seymour! The house is on fire!
Skinner: No, mother. It's just the Northern Lights.
Chalmers: Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say you steam a good ham. [Chalmers walks off. He looks back at Skinner, who flashes him the "thumbs-up" sign]
Print the post  

Announcements

When Life Gives You Lemons
We all have had hardships and made poor decisions. The important thing is how we respond and grow. Read the story of a Fool who started from nothing, and looks to gain everything.
Contact Us
Contact Customer Service and other Fool departments here.
Work for Fools?
Winner of the Washingtonian great places to work, and Glassdoor #1 Company to Work For 2015! Have access to all of TMF's online and email products for FREE, and be paid for your contributions to TMF! Click the link and start your Fool career.
Advertisement