Hello to all of those who remember me!

I came to TMF in September of 1999 and, besides the homeschooling board, I made your board a refuge. My hubby was the one that smoked and I needed some support and guidance on how to cope without being upset at what he was doing to himself and our family. You all were wonderful and I still think fondly of your friendship and help.

A little update:

My mother (who had begun smoking at 18 and quit at 60) died two years ago from lung cancer even though she had been smoke-free for almost 20 years. I was fortunate to be able to spend the last month of her life helping to take care of her.

My husband had the upper right lobe removed 2 1/2 years ago. He was told that he would be back to normal in about 6 months but that has never happened. He began smoking at 16 years-old and is now 70. Except for a bit over one year (about 9 years ago) he has smoked. Even losing the biggest portion of his right lung didn't stop him. He now has colon cancer (stage 1) and lung cancer has been found in his left lung. It is at stage 4 so it is inoperable. This is the last stage.

We meet with the oncologist tomorrow to plan what will be the course of action. My husband's mother died of throat cancer (from smoking) and my mom of lung cancer. Both ladies had received chemo and radiation. My mom especially suffered from side effects that left her quite debilitated. My husband will not want to go to all those extreme measures when they don't really prolong your life that much. At least not with any quality.

We have five children ranging in age from 26 down to 16 so our only boy (the 16 year-old) will have a harder time of it than his older sisters who are out on their own and making a life.

This is just a little reminder that this board and what you do is so vitally important. If you smoke and have tried to quit in the past keep starting over again. No one here will ever be anything but supportive.

I feel sorry for my husband. He has, wisely, counseled our children to not ever start smoking and none of them has. They have seen what it did to my mom and now their father. None of them will marry anyone who smokes and I think that is very wise. John is just unable to stop smoking although he told me he is down to 10 cigs a day. Just think of all those cigarettes (close to 2 packs a day) that he has ingested over the course of 54 years. I shudder to think the amount.

Anyway, I want you to know that I am in good spirits and am happy to be working with my hubby to make sure our finances are in order. How sad that it took this last cancer diagnosis for him to face the fact that we need to do it.

I am not wanting this to be a downer but just a wake-up call to the reality of what might happen with continued smoking. I know that some folks smoke all their lives and never get cancer but it is amazing to me since they are mistreating themselves but are just plain lucky.

Much love to the most important personal board at TMF.


Robyn Downing