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Author: Frydaze1 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 44334  
Subject: An Open Letter Date: 10/3/2012 2:23 PM
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Dear Wedding Coordinator:

Since you're not working on commission, please remove the expression "have to" and all its relatives from your vocabulary unless the truly apply.

Alternative phrases you might want to consider:
- Might want to consider
- This is common at many weddings
- It might look better with
- I suggest
- This might be preferable
- I highly recommend
- It is fashionable to
- You might like
etc.

There are very few "have to's" at a wedding. They require a couple and someone to say the words. Even a license is optional (though it won't create a legal marriage without one).

I don't "have to" have a color palette.
I don't "have to" have tablecloths *at all* let alone in one of my colors. White is actually fine. In fact, since it's a wedding, white is entirely appropriate.
I don't "have to" have floor length tablecloths. Personally, I prefer them to be lap length.
I don't "have to" have centerpieces on the tables.

You're a friend and a sweetheart. But if you don't learn to prioritize better, you're going to end up with some very frustrated clients.


Frydaze1 <--- of the white, lap length tablecloths, and the table centerpieces that cost a week's pay
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Author: discurro Big gold star, 5000 posts Top Recommended Fools Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39447 of 44334
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/3/2012 2:34 PM
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Recommendations: 4
You're a friend and a sweetheart. But if you don't learn to prioritize better, you're going to end up with some very frustrated clients.


my boss is moonlighting as a wedding coordinator?

discurro
frustrated client

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Author: ArchRival2 One star, 50 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39449 of 44334
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/4/2012 11:26 AM
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I don't "have to" have a color palette.
I don't "have to" have tablecloths *at all* let alone in one of my colors. White is actually fine. In fact, since it's a wedding, white is entirely appropriate.
I don't "have to" have floor length tablecloths. Personally, I prefer them to be lap length.
I don't "have to" have centerpieces on the tables.

Author: Frydaze1 | Date: 10/3/2012 2:23:19 PM | Number: 39448

-----------

You don't "have to" do anything you don't want to. But why hire a Wedding Coordinator and object to her suggestions?

If all you are worried about is having tablecloths or centerpieces on the tables, then considered yourself blessed.

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Author: Frydaze1 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39453 of 44334
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/4/2012 12:28 PM
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Recommendations: 26
You don't "have to" do anything you don't want to. But why hire a Wedding Coordinator and object to her suggestions?

I didn't *hire* her. I'm getting married at her house, and she kindly said she'd do this for me as my wedding gift. Which means I also can't fire her.

And I didn't object to her suggestions. I objected to her phrasing them as necessities. They aren't. Which makes it difficult for me, as NOT a professional wedding coordinator, to tell when something actually IS necessary. Like her saying I "have to have" 3 servers, for 8 hours, at $10/hour. Do I? Or is this another one of her badly phrased suggestions, and 2 (or 1) would be fine? If she doesn't phrase things correctly, I can't make good decisions.


If all you are worried about is having tablecloths or centerpieces on the tables, then considered yourself blessed.

What makes you think this is all I am worried about? I mean, yeah, I don't have cancer so I couldn't possibly have any right to complain about anything in my life. I'm sure that since you have fingers with which to type, you never complain at all. After all, you're blessed!

But for those of us who don't rate our lives in such absolutes, I've got some things that aren't working the way I'd like them to. Most of which I didn't mention in an open letter to my coordinator, because they aren't relevant there.

And why do I care about little things like the length of the tablecloths, and whether or not I need centerpieces? Because every one of those decisions costs a few hundred dollars, minimum. And while, yes, I'm so blessed to have a job, tyvm, I still have to pay for all of this. And I can't afford to if I don't pay attention to *all* those little decisions. I've got over 100 guests. Almost all immediate family. A little decision like the length of the tablecloth or whether or not there's a centerpiece gets multiplied by 14 tables.

Since you're so blessed and have nothing to complain about, perhaps you'd send me $1000 to cover those little things?


Frydaze1

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Author: kogrady Two stars, 250 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39455 of 44334
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/4/2012 12:41 PM
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Recommendations: 4
Elope.

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Author: Frydaze1 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39456 of 44334
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/4/2012 1:17 PM
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Elope.

Too late, or I would.


Frydaze1

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Author: legalwordwarrior Big funky green star, 20000 posts Top Recommended Fools Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39457 of 44334
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/4/2012 1:45 PM
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Too late, or I would.

Told ya you should've just hit the JP while you were on vacation. Now look what you're dealing with ;0)

Seriously, though: 3 servers for 8 hours? How long is the wedding? Are they also doing the setting up and taking down?

LWW

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Author: Frydaze1 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39459 of 44334
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/4/2012 5:46 PM
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Told ya you should've just hit the JP while you were on vacation. Now look what you're dealing with ;0)

I wish I'd listened.



Seriously, though: 3 servers for 8 hours? How long is the wedding? Are they also doing the setting up and taking down?

The conversations, over multiple days, look a lot like this:

Me - Okay, I've ordered all the stuff from the rental place. Do I need to provide muscle for setting them up?
Her - No, I'll take care of that.
...
Me - I think we'll want 2 servers to deal with pouring champagne and such.
...
Her - I've found your 3 servers. They'll be $10/hour and they're going to start at 10.
Me - Wedding is at 2.
Her - They'll be doing setup.
Me - I said I wanted two servers. Why do we have 3? It's a buffet, so the guests are going to serve themselves. You said you were going to put the champagne directly on the tables, rather than have the servers pour. I have friends who would help with setup and tear down, or I could have paid the rental place to do that.
...
Her - Okay, I've let two of the servers know they won't be needed. You'll have one.
Me - Thank you. (Thinking: I asked for TWO)


Two more days. Just two more days.



Frydaze1

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Author: legalwordwarrior Big funky green star, 20000 posts Top Recommended Fools Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39460 of 44334
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/4/2012 10:18 PM
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Two more days. Just two more days.

Don't forget to breathe. In with the good, out with the bad.

LWW

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Author: RaptorD2 Big gold star, 5000 posts Top Favorite Fools Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39461 of 44334
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/4/2012 10:44 PM
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Colors? Table cloths?

I saw some stupid show on the boob tube the other day where 5 couples were getting married in one ceremony at a nudist colony. I couldn't understand why anyone would do that; now I remember. Maybe it wasn't so stupid after all.

--Anonymous

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Author: FiddleDeeDee Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39463 of 44334
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/5/2012 10:48 AM
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Two more days. Just two more days.



Frydaze1


At this point in time, do you have anyone whom you trust completely to take over dealing with her? She is driving ME crazy, and I have not the excuse you have!

Andrea

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Author: Frydaze1 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39505 of 44334
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/8/2012 11:35 AM
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When all was said and done, everything was fine. Not everything was flawless, but it was perfect - if you understand the distinction.

Frydaze1 <--- happily married

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Author: halco Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39548 of 44334
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/10/2012 6:16 AM
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Recommendations: 0
Congratulations!

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