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Author: isewquilts2 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 44833  
Subject: An Open Letter Date: 10/6/2012 9:16 AM
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To the preganant 8th grader I had in class yesterday:


Yes, I know I am "just" a substitute teacher. I do not know how or why you became pregnant....but passing around ultrasound pictures of your baby during class was just not OK, and I called you on it. You were a distracting force, and I needed to deal with that. I was respectful in my request--your response was not. You are a kid, and I know things are probably not easy for you right now, but that does not give you the right to make my job harder.


isewquilts
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Author: InconclusiveFool Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39477 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/6/2012 9:49 AM
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"but passing around ultrasound pictures of your baby"

What ever happened to modesty and provacy? Sheesh!

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Author: CindyC72 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39480 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/6/2012 1:26 PM
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You are a kid, and I know things are probably not easy for you right now, but that does not give you the right to make my job harder.

Oh, but it is... Don't be shocked if the parent complains because you thwarted her precious snowflake and you hear about it.

Cindy
/not subbing anymore
//made the decision to not go for ElemEd grad degree much easier

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Author: LOTROQueen Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39482 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/6/2012 7:08 PM
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preganant 8th grader

Whoa. :(

**shudder**

-- mother of a 7th grader

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Author: Woolybooger1 Big red star, 1000 posts Feste Award Nominee! Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39488 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/6/2012 10:57 PM
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Well, the time I delivered two 13 year olds having their babies IN THE SAME WEEK............. I knew I had entered a new plane of existence.

It's all what's happening now. Went in to check on a patient in Labor and Delivery last night and there were 8.......... yes count them 8 other kids with her. Okay one of the eight was her momma........

They all were texting or playing games on their cell phones. Of course she really wasn't in labor and the whole posse had to saddle up to ride back into town another night. It's all just a happening now a days.

This week had a new patient having here 3rd baby and was taking her history. Lived in a house of 7. Her 2 kids, herself, and 5 other adults. None of them had jobs................. not a one........

Not a made up movie.............. It's getting bad out there.......


Then the screen fades to black..............

Wooly .... who wonders where individual responsibility disappeared to these days...

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Author: InconclusiveFool Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39491 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/7/2012 12:12 AM
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"who wonders where individual responsibility disappeared to these days..."

They don't have to worry, the village full of liberals will take care of them. Don't need no job. Just go on the dole and let big uncle pay the bills.

Work? You mean you want people to work? How dare you suggest such a thing.

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Author: anuvaka Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39492 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/7/2012 12:22 AM
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"Yes, I know I am "just" a substitute teacher. I do not know how or why you became pregnant....but passing around ultrasound pictures of your baby during class was just not OK,"


So she us 13-14?
What is such a Proud Moment for that?
I would be embarrased, at the least, for not knowing about birth control. A condom at least.

Do NOT let the school administration give you a black mark. You are teaching a moral value that should have been taught years previous by her parents.
Sex and babies is for adults who can care for the progeny. Not for teens who have no awareness of the responsibility.
jC

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Author: bdluckyshot Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39493 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/7/2012 5:46 AM
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I'm pretty sure I know how she became pregnant.

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Author: eudaimon6 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39494 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/7/2012 3:06 PM
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Chapter 23 in "Why I chose nursing over teaching"

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Author: isewquilts2 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39495 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/7/2012 3:53 PM
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I'm pretty sure I know how she became pregnant.

My point was that she could have been the victim of abuse, and that she may not have had sex voluntarily.

preganant typo--pregnant I hate it when typos look like I don't know how to spell.


It just broke my heart for everyone involved.


isewquilts

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Author: joycets Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39499 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/7/2012 9:11 PM
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Somehow I Doubt that a pregnant 8th grader is the 'precious snowflake' of anyone, but I'm not directly involved with kids in middle school so what do I know.

jts

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Author: LOTROQueen Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39501 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/8/2012 12:08 AM
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Somehow I Doubt that a pregnant 8th grader is the 'precious snowflake' of anyone,

What a callous and cruel thing to say

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Author: LCKitten Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39504 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/8/2012 9:30 AM
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Do NOT let the school administration give you a black mark. You are teaching a moral value that should have been taught years previous by her parents.

Wait, hold up. I thought she reprimanded the girl for distracting the class, not for being pregnant? I'm not OK with the latter.

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Author: ThyPeace Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39507 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/8/2012 12:23 PM
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So, I've been reading this thread for a while. And I agree that there's a lot to be said and wondered and questioned about an 8th grader who is pregnant. It's probably a tough situation for everyone involved, and the baby is coming into a world that's not exactly what you'd hope for a baby.

But yet there are some good things here. Most importantly, the mom has been to an ob-gyn and is getting prenatal care. That's not always true, and is a hopefuly sign.

And also, although it should not be a distraction in class, this girl has pictures of the fetus growing inside her and cares enough about them to share them with her friends. In doing so, she is starting to make real a situation that is probably completely unreal to her. If she keeps the baby, her life will change in ways that she can't even imagine right now. Any little bit of preparation she gets will help her.

My hope is that her group of friends is strong enough to keep being friends after she's a mom. A girl that age is much more influenced by her peers than her parents (much to all parents' dismay!), so those girls can help her tremendously by just being friendly and accepting her without judging her for her actions.

Pregnancy happens in a lot of different ways, and though we can all rant about how kids should know about and use birth control, the fact is that our biology wins over our thoughts much of the time -- and kids even more than adults. This young girl is a victim of abuse, even if it's only the abuse of two 8th graders who got together without an adult intervening. She and the father, and the baby, deserve support and care, not judgement.

ThyPeace, really hoping the father has copies of the pictures and is showing them to his friends, too. Preferably at lunch time or after school.

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Author: Frydaze1 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39508 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/8/2012 12:26 PM
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"but passing around ultrasound pictures of your baby"

What ever happened to modesty and provacy? Sheesh!



Here's the problem:

The girl is pregnant and obviously too young to have done it intentionally as a well-planned, mature decision. There are now two options:

1) Embrace it. In which case there will BE no modesty or privacy. At some point people are going to notice that she appears to have a basketball inside her shirt. Most people show ultrasounds when they're pregnant and I'm guessing you don't normally go whining about modesty or privacy when they do. The issue here is that she picked the wrong time to do it. (I wouldn't show mine during a business meeting, for example.) The problem is NOT that she shared the pictures with classmates. She is, after all, going the "embrace it" route.

2) Stop it. If modesty and privacy were that important, she could have an abortion. No one would need to know she had gotten pregnant, and her whole life wouldn't now be bending to revolve around a baby.


You seem to want her to both continue the pregnancy AND not let anyone know about it. You can't do both. Nor should she be giving up her *8th grade* education for 6 months just to keep anyone from seeing her belly grow. She needs to pay attention as much as she can now, before new baby sleep deprivation destroys her ability to learn any more.

So pick a side: Do you recommend an abortion so she can keep her modesty and privacy? Or do you accept that this young girl's life is changed forever and there's no way to hide it?


Frydaze1

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Author: Windowseat Big funky green star, 20000 posts Feste Award Nominee! Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39510 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/8/2012 12:39 PM
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My hope is that her group of friends is strong enough to keep being friends after she's a mom. A girl that age is much more influenced by her peers than her parents (much to all parents' dismay!), so those girls can help her tremendously by just being friendly and accepting her without judging her for her actions.

A couple of years ago there was a nationwide fuss regarding a group of girls in Gloucester who were pregnant, and how they had taken a vow to get pregnant together. Editorials were written, the high school was overrun with reporters, news cameras were all over the place, and there was a really huge fuss about this group of friends who all gotten pregnant due to a promise, and the values of the country were being warped and we were descending into hell when we allowed incidents of this type and the parents of these girls had clearly failed to do their job and reality shows that focussed on how cute pregnancy was were bringing the nation to the brink of collapse and so on and so on.

It took a while before they got the horse back in front of the cart.

The girls had not sworn to get pregnant together. As one after another of the group of friends had gotten pregnant, they had sworn to help each during their pregnancy and during the raising of their children.

So they had made mistakes, yes, they knew that, but they were going to help each other, thus taking the first steps toward maturity.

Nancy
but handing around ultrasound pictures as if they were family vacation photos still seems strange. And class time really should be reserved for class work.

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Author: InconclusiveFool Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39514 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/8/2012 2:42 PM
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"You seem to want her to both continue the pregnancy AND not let anyone know about it. You can't do both."

Sure you can. When I was a high school sophomore ('74-'75)) a freshman girl I knew got pregnant. She left school for the duration of her pregnancy - she may have been home-schooled, I'm not sure. She came back after the baby's birth, resumed her studies alongside her peers and went on to graduate high school pretty high in her class, and go on to college. She didn't march around showing her ultrasound pictures, or the results of her recent doctor's visit. It was something that happened, and she and her family dealt with it discreetly. They didn't hold her up as some kind of role model, because they knew that she wasn't.

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Author: legalwordwarrior Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39516 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/8/2012 3:08 PM
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You seem to want her to both continue the pregnancy AND not let anyone know about it. You can't do both. Nor should she be giving up her *8th grade* education for 6 months just to keep anyone from seeing her belly grow. She needs to pay attention as much as she can now, before new baby sleep deprivation destroys her ability to learn any more.

There's a time and place for everything. If she wants to show her friends her ultrasound, that's fine, in it's place. In the middle of class, when students are supposed to be paying attention to the instructor is not the time or place.

I'm sure this young lady is getting a lot of attention from her friends. She may have been hoping to get a little more attention from the substitute teacher and was upset about getting called out in class instead of being congratulated.

She should save the pics for before school, lunchtime, and after school. I think the teacher was well within her rights to call her on it as being disruptive and the soon to be mom was out of line for trying to argue it.

LWW

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Author: Frydaze1 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39517 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/8/2012 3:15 PM
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There's a time and place for everything. If she wants to show her friends her ultrasound, that's fine, in it's place. In the middle of class, when students are supposed to be paying attention to the instructor is not the time or place.

I'm sure this young lady is getting a lot of attention from her friends. She may have been hoping to get a little more attention from the substitute teacher and was upset about getting called out in class instead of being congratulated.

She should save the pics for before school, lunchtime, and after school. I think the teacher was well within her rights to call her on it as being disruptive and the soon to be mom was out of line for trying to argue it.



I think you misread what I said. I agreed that she didn't pick the right time for it. I agreed that it was disruptive. I did NOT agree that she should figure out how to be discreet about her pregnancy or that she shouldn't share ultrasound pictures.


Frydaze1

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Author: Frydaze1 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39518 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/8/2012 3:20 PM
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Sure you can. When I was a high school sophomore ('74-'75)) a freshman girl I knew got pregnant. She left school for the duration of her pregnancy - she may have been home-schooled, I'm not sure. She came back after the baby's birth, resumed her studies alongside her peers and went on to graduate high school pretty high in her class, and go on to college. She didn't march around showing her ultrasound pictures, or the results of her recent doctor's visit. It was something that happened, and she and her family dealt with it discreetly. They didn't hold her up as some kind of role model, because they knew that she wasn't.


I'm sure I'm greeked, but I'll reply anyway just in case.

This isn't the mid 70's. Pregnancy isn't a disease that justifies pulling a kid out of school for the whole year. And if you knew she was removed from school for being pregnant, you can bet that everyone else knew also. So what, exactly, did taking her out of school accomplish? Nothing, except to keep her from learning in the environment her parents had originally chosen for her. Obviously they didn't feel that homeschooling was the best choice before, or she wouldn't have been in your school in the first place. But now she's been removed so that no one can see that she's pregnant... even though everyone already knows. What a pointless waste.

I'm sorry that her pregnancy offends you. I'm offended that her entire life is now totally screwed because her parents didn't take her in for an abortion like they should have. THAT is dealing with it descreetly so she can try to continue a normal life.


Frydaze1

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Author: legalwordwarrior Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39519 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/8/2012 3:34 PM
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I think you misread what I said. I agreed that she didn't pick the right time for it. I agreed that it was disruptive. I did NOT agree that she should figure out how to be discreet about her pregnancy or that she shouldn't share ultrasound pictures.

I got the impression from the OP that she was mainly concerned about the disruption in class. Being a little more discreet, as in not broadcasting in class "Hey look at my ultrasound pics" is not the same as hiding a pregnancy. You can actually have it both ways.

LWW

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Author: Frydaze1 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39520 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/8/2012 3:38 PM
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I got the impression from the OP that she was mainly concerned about the disruption in class. Being a little more discreet, as in not broadcasting in class "Hey look at my ultrasound pics" is not the same as hiding a pregnancy. You can actually have it both ways.


LWW,

You're still misreading me.

I wasn't replying to the OP. I was replying to IF. Specifically to his objection that she wasn't being modest or discreet, because in his world pregnant school girls are not seen in public. Please reread my posts in that context.


Frydaze1

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Author: legalwordwarrior Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39521 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/8/2012 3:45 PM
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I wasn't replying to the OP. I was replying to IF. Specifically to his objection that she wasn't being modest or discreet, because in his world pregnant school girls are not seen in public. Please reread my posts in that context.

Oh, okay. Sorry, didn't get that because of the grey filter. My apologies!

LWW

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Author: Frydaze1 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39522 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/8/2012 5:02 PM
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Oh, okay. Sorry, didn't get that because of the grey filter. My apologies!

No problem at all!


Frydaze1

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Author: InconclusiveFool Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39523 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/8/2012 8:00 PM
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"I'm sorry that her pregnancy offends you."

What really offends me is that she put so little thought into what she did, with no consideration of the consequences, and she wants to march around the classroom like some kind of hero and role model to her peers.

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Author: makasha Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39524 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/8/2012 8:44 PM
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What really offends me is that she put so little thought into what she did, with no consideration of the consequences, and she wants to march around the classroom like some kind of hero and role model to her peers.

SHE didn't do it all by herself.

I can see your point of view and I do agree to a certain extent; I agree that young girls have too many role models already in the world who make it seem like being a pregnant teenager is some kind of great accomplishment.

But since I'm feeling a bit peckish today (I know, right?!)...I do hope it's just me reading into your post the tone of "SHE gave so little thought to what SHE did, and SHE wants to march around" yadda yadda.

Then again, me being all judgey-judgey about your tone doesn't help the situation any more than any or all of us on the board being all judgey-judgey about the girl's predicament. So there you go.

Kasha

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Author: InconclusiveFool Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39525 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/8/2012 9:17 PM
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"But since I'm feeling a bit peckish today (I know, right?!)...I do hope it's just me reading into your post the tone of "SHE gave so little thought to what SHE did, and SHE wants to march around" yadda yadda."


Clarification: She AND her so-called boyfriend or whatever. THEY put so little thought into what they did.


PS
There is a Monthy Python routine called "The Cheese Shop," in which where John Cleese talks about being "peckish." One of the all-time great Python routines, in my opinion:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3KBuQHHKx0

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Author: LOTROQueen Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39526 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/9/2012 12:02 AM
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What really offends me is that she put so little thought into what she did, with no consideration of the consequences, and she wants to march around the classroom like some kind of hero and role model to her peers.

Yeah, abuse victims really should think about the consequences.

**THWACK**
**THWACK**
**THWACK**
**THWACK**
**THWACK**
**THWACK**
**THWACK**
**THWACK**
**THWACK**
**THWACK**
**THWACK**
**THWACK**
**THWACK**
**THWACK**
**THWACK**
**THWACK**
**THWACK**
**THWACK**
**THWACK**
**THWACK**
**THWACK**
**THWACK**
**THWACK**
**THWACK**
(lovely sound of a clue stick)

You don't know the circumstances of how she got pregnant.

I'd like to say more but don't want my post to get pulled for incivility.

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Author: InconclusiveFool Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39527 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/9/2012 12:26 AM
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"You don't know the circumstances of how she got pregnant."

Nor do you.

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Author: InconclusiveFool Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39528 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/9/2012 12:30 AM
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"Yeah, abuse victims really should think about the consequences."

Even more so, if she truly was a victim of abuse, why in God's name would she be marching around the class like some kind of hero and role model? Like that's some kind of badge of honor? She's the one who should be getting THWACKED with your clue stick.

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Author: ishtarastarte Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39530 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/9/2012 1:14 AM
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A girl should be ashamed because she was abused?

Shame is what the abusers use to avoid being held responsible for the abuse.

Ishtar

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Author: InconclusiveFool Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39531 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/9/2012 8:29 AM
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But it seems like people are suggesting that the teacher was wrong for challenging this young woman for showing ultrasound photos in class. Lots of talk out here aboout disadvantaged kids needing mentors. So this teacher attempts to tell the young woman that it is inappropriate for an 8th grader to be disrupting class in this manner - a mentoring moment, if you will. And somehow this has morphed into the idea that young girl was right (regardless of the circumstances behind her pregnancy) and the teacher was wrong.

How can the kid be right and the teacher be wrong? Should she have not tried to teach or mentor her about inappropriate behavior? I need Lucy Ricardo to 'splain this to me.

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Author: cabinsmama Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39532 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/9/2012 8:48 AM
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I read through the thread again. I don't see anyone saying that the teacher shouldn't have told the girl to refrain from showing her ultrasound during class time. Not seeing any morphing on that point.

People are trying to point out the difference between what the girl did now (showing her pics) and what she did prior, which was to be a 14 y.o. (approx)who wasn't properly supervised, or worse, by the adults responsible for her.

A pregnant eighth-grader is a victimized kid. If she's trying to build back some self-esteem by showing some positive feelings for herself and her baby, this is not a bad thing at this point. Guiding her on the right time and place is fine and helpful. Shaming may feel good to the adult doing the shaming for a few minutes (which is pretty mean, but whatever, some people do love to do that), but helpful...not so much.

cm

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Author: Frydaze1 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39536 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/9/2012 11:06 AM
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But it seems like people are suggesting that the teacher was wrong for challenging this young woman for showing ultrasound photos in class. Lots of talk out here aboout disadvantaged kids needing mentors. So this teacher attempts to tell the young woman that it is inappropriate for an 8th grader to be disrupting class in this manner - a mentoring moment, if you will. And somehow this has morphed into the idea that young girl was right (regardless of the circumstances behind her pregnancy) and the teacher was wrong.

How can the kid be right and the teacher be wrong? Should she have not tried to teach or mentor her about inappropriate behavior? I need Lucy Ricardo to 'splain this to me.



As always, you've shifted the discussion and then not actually READ what anyone said.

So here's your simple Lucy Ricardo explanation. Read it slowly and carefully, please:

1) The girl was wrong to interrupt class with ultrasound pictures. Just as she would be wrong to interrupt class with Grand Canyon pictures.

2) The teacher was right to stop that behavior. It is disruptive to the class.

3) The girl is NOT wrong to share her ultrasound pictures with her friends.

She is pregnant. That is a fact. She will not be having an abortion. That is also a fact. She will therefore, unless something terrible happens, be giving birth to a baby. That is a fact that will continue to be a major fact of the rest of her life unless she gives the baby up for adoption - which is unlikely, given that she was sharing ultrasound pictures.

Considering that this child will be raising another child, why should she try to act like it isn't happening? Why should she treat this child, who she will raise and train and support and nurture, like a dirty secret? It ISN'T a secret, and can't be one. But you're suggesting she make her life and the child's even worse by trying to make it one.

You can't unbreak something. You can just try to move forward as best you can. Now that the pregnancy is a determined, unshakable fact, she should (and did) do her best to handle it with love and joy. Anything else would be cruel to both of them.

No one is making her a hero. But regardless of how she got pregnant, she IS pregnant. And she is acting like it. That's normal and healthy.


Frydaze1

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Author: InconclusiveFool Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39539 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/9/2012 11:56 AM
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"A pregnant eighth-grader is a victimized kid."

Strongly agree. Validating her actions in front of the other students, or said another way, not challenging her actions in front of the other students are both equally bad. The other students need to be shown that teenage pregnancy is not something to be glorified, a badge of honor, or held in high esteem.

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Author: InconclusiveFool Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39540 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/9/2012 12:07 PM
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"1) The girl was wrong to interrupt class with ultrasound pictures. Just as she would be wrong to interrupt class with Grand Canyon pictures."

check;


"2) The teacher was right to stop that behavior. It is disruptive to the class."

check;


"3) The girl is NOT wrong to share her ultrasound pictures with her friends."

Agree - she can do whatever she wants on her on time, just not in the classroom. Glorifying or validating teenage pregnancy in front of the other kids just doesn't make sense. Especially when we are collectively trying to prevent teenage pregnacy.

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Author: ishtarastarte Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39541 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/9/2012 2:10 PM
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I agree with the original point, just not your morphing of it.

Disrupting class - bad.

Ishtar

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Author: Myownigloo Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39542 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/9/2012 5:54 PM
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I do not know how or why you became pregnant....

You don't?

MOI

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Author: sofaking6 Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39543 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/9/2012 7:19 PM
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Wooly .... who wonders where individual responsibility disappeared to these days...

It got deposited in a Swiss bank account and now we have no access to it.

6

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Author: joycets Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39546 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/10/2012 12:31 AM
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But yet there are some good things here. Most importantly, the mom has been to an ob-gyn and is getting prenatal care. That's not always true, and is a hopefuly sign.

And also, although it should not be a distraction in class, this girl has pictures of the fetus growing inside her and cares enough about them to share them with her friends. In doing so, she is starting to make real a situation that is probably completely unreal to her. If she keeps the baby, her life will change in ways that she can't even imagine right now. Any little bit of preparation she gets will help her.

My hope is that her group of friends is strong enough to keep being friends after she's a mom. A girl that age is much more influenced by her peers than her parents (much to all parents' dismay!), so those girls can help her tremendously by just being friendly and accepting her without judging her for her actions.==============
================================
Wow. Thanks, thypeace, for your seriously cool insights.

joycets

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Author: solesister Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39621 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/11/2012 9:35 PM
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Thing is, the village full of liberals would have provided access to birth control, and maybe not told her it was her holy duty as a female to keep and raise the baby

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Author: solesister Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39622 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/11/2012 9:41 PM
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"I did NOT agree that she should figure out how to be discreet about her pregnancy"

Showing some discretion, as the OP tried to teach the young woman to do, is not necessarily about hiding something b/c it's shameful. It is about learning that you are not the center of the universe: specifically, that there might be some kids in the class who are there to learn about something other than what the Baby BabyMama's baby looks like

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Author: solesister Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39623 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/11/2012 9:43 PM
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IMO a girl who disrupts class to show everybody her ultrasound pix might not have enough shame...

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Author: solesister Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 39624 of 44833
Subject: Re: An Open Letter Date: 10/11/2012 9:48 PM
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"The other students need to be shown that teenage pregnancy is not something to be glorified, a badge of honor, or held in high esteem."

Maybe more importantly, they need to know that they are not looking at a cartoon or a youtube video or pix from TMZ, but rather the early stages of a real live human who is going to enter the world with some very real disadvanages.

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