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Author: Ziege19 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 44848  
Subject: An Open Letter Date: 11/13/2012 8:50 PM
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To America:

You are the greatest country ever in the history of the world, so we are going to try and destroy you now. Ever since Jesus' divine providence delivered a perfect Constitution through the hands of your instruments, our founding fathers, America has been the greatest force of goodness ever. Especially during World War II, when the Greatest Generation saved the world, just after they turned us into a godless socialist dictatorship that made all of us slaves to the klepto-ponzi scheme of Social Security and the New Deal. That was back when America was truly great, but also was spiraling down into a vortex of communism.

And then came Ronald Reagan, who once again restored us to our previous glory and destroyed communism, and taught us fiscal discipline by exploding our deficit and increasing government spending which is evil and Communist. He kept us the strongest country to ever exist in the universe, which is good because any single terrorist who wants to can destroy us completely so we need to be strong and totally terrified of terrorists.

Now, America, you are still so incredibly awesome that it makes us want to punch any dumb liberal who complains about you. I mean what the heck is wrong with them? Why do they hate you so much that they want to spend money fixing you instead of starving you for funds so that you learn to behave and do what Businesses tell you to do? We love you, America, and because your genius is the private enterprise system, we want you to be totally strong but not have any power at all to govern the private enterprise system which is so genius that it can govern itself. The founding fathers knew that if you just give all of the land, money and resources to the merchant class, they can be trusted to rule without any checks on their power, right?

People that hate you, America, make us so angry. Like gays, feminists, people who live in cities, foreigners, atheists, people on welfare, unemployed people, academics, and really like about 70% of the people that live here and most of the States and cities...they are all terrible places full of terrible people. We totally hate the 70% of America that hates us, which means they hate America.

Now that you are dead because you killed yourself with Obama's socialist evil health program, we love you more than ever, and we're going to defend you from liberals by seceding and putting an end to you forever.

We only do it because we love you,

Signed,

Your biggest fans - Incoherent Republican America-loving-hating Would-be Secessionists
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