And yes I am very afraid to change my sons quality of life as they know it. But having said that I am also aware that I MUST !!

You are going to change their life a bit. You're not changing their quality of life. Most of their quality of life comes from you, your husband, and their siblings.

If nothing else, you have shown that you will do just about anything to protect your boys and make sure they have the best. I think what most posters here are saying that they disagree with you about how relatively important and relatively good and bad some things really are.

Mainly, they are saying that a change from private to public school as a Junior and Sophomore and less time rotting in front of the TV is not as bad as collections lawsuits, bankruptcy, penniless mom & dad & brothers, and a divorce.