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AP Broken News
3:08 pm, 1/8/2003

WHITE ROCK, BC, Canada (AP) An undisclosed employee has recently filed a $10 million lawsuit against Mail Boxes Etc., the Canada Post (Postes Canada), The Motley Fool® & one Michael Read for alleged bodily injury, pain, suffering & infliction of emotional distress resulting from delivery of an overweight & improperly packaged trophy addressed to the aforementioned Mr. Read. The unnamed employee is asking for punitive damages as well as compensation for lost wages, emotional distress and medical expenses.

"Why, the durn t'ink can't be lifted by jest one person," the worker was quoted as saying by onlookers employed by HHIA, A.M. "Besides, who needs a 182 kilo trophy, eh? Sounds like jest a lot of durn foolishness to me".

The postal worker was pinned to the snowy ground for two hours before discovery. Several broken Palm Clusters had allegedly lacerated his chest. There are also unconfirmed rumors that hundreds of dozen boxes of jelly donuts were illegally included in the shipment. However, any evidence of the donuts appears to have disappeared.

A Motley Fool® spokesperson said the company believes the Award was safely designed & the unusual weight of the package was a mystery to them.

AP-ES-01-08-03 1508EST
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