This weekend I decided to make my own Apple Pie for the first time in my life. Because my wife is semi-invalid I've been learning to cook over the past couple of years.

The recipe called for 4lbs of apples and they suggest using three different varieties So I pop over to Wegmans where they have an 'apple consultant' to help me select. Lawdy, it's two bucks a pound for apples. I can remember buying apples for three bucks a bushel. The nicest macs and cortlands you'd ever want to see. Apple pie spice is $5.50 for about an ounce. I don't really have the tools to make my crust from scratch so I bought those roll out kind from the dairy case. I bought store brand, too and that was three bucks. I haven't turned on the gas yet and I've got $16.50 in the pie. The pie also called for fresh lemon juice, so add .89 cents for a lemon.

I'm not going to count the copay at the ER for stitching up the finger I mangled coring the apples.

So now I've got a $20 pie in the oven and I kick back to watch a football game while it's baking, all the time grumbling about inflation. I fell asleep watching the game and didn't hear the buzzer.

My wife tried to be nice. When she allowed that maybe the crust was a little overcooked, I just said "eat it and be quiet."