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as soon as we get paid, ALL the bills that need to be covered from that paycheck are paid immediately!!!
and i show my fiance this, and how much we have left....
but to him, if the bank says we have money... he seems to feel he can spend it. argh!!! and not stick to our original budget.

This I can relate to. Have money must spend. My hubby will spend a dime if he has it. I also control all the finances. We now have our own allowance which we don't have to account for (ie to each other). I found it a great compromise. He can spend a little and I don't freak. We have also decided what is considered necessary and what is not. It is as specific as the number of pairs of socks in good condition we are allowed. I know this seems extreem, however, my husband has a thing for tee-shirts and since he wears uniforms to work the 50+ he has seems to be more that enough that if he wants new ones they arn't necessary clothing.

I would be wary about combining everything. We each have our own account for the allowance and I am working on him getting a credit card of his own. I don't want to sound morbid...but what happens if something happens to you and he doesn't grasp money. It is something that really bothers me as I am the one with the majority of the income and do all the finances. If something happend to me I don't want him not to have any credit of his own...or the ability to handle finances.

One more suggestion, parcel out the money in the bank...if you are saving for the wedding take the money out of the account and put in a wedding fund (does not have to be a new account just hidden money). That way he can see that the money is really already spend..the bills just arn't in yet.

You are definitly not the only one struggling. We have been together for over 3 years...not married a year yet and still changing the way we handle our money.
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