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Author: malaoshi Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 884902  
Subject: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/18/2013 9:47 PM
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DH was in a major car accident the day before yesterday,driving on a small freeway bordered by strawberry fields.

His 21-year-old Honda was totaled but the air bag worked. He was taken to a country hospital by ambulance, with smooshed right knee cap, broken right arm, broken ribs, but clear head, no concussion, no neck injury. Then the hospital called us, and my two terrific daughters drove me an hour and half to get him, somehow lifted him into our minivan, drove home and somehow got him into his own bed (at past midnight....)alive and much loved.

The phone has barely stopped ringing. We've been offered 5 dinners and already eaten two, (last night and tonight,) friends calling about helping with errands, shopping, more cooking, baysitting etc. Dry cleaning lady saw his clothes with some blood, plus my harried look, asked why, and immediately gave far more than the usual senior citizen discount, because she knows and likes him... and is so glad he is alive.

And how does this all tie in to LBYM? Another friend is lining up friends to provide meals every night...and as has been mentioned before, I get a weekly grocery allowance in our budget. Even if DH has to give up his job, he is making us rich in food!

Milk, eggs, lettuce and pain pills will probably be the only things I'll be buying for several weeks. And he is alive.

He'll probably be forced to retire through this, and he LOVES his job. That's bad. He has already canceled business trips, our cruise in February, his overseas trip in April and two social events he was organizing for his clients. That's bad.

But we would have been laughing together as I cut his underwear off him last night,...if it hadn't hurt too much to laugh. Who cares? He's alive.

Tonight we lit Shabbat candles on a little table in the bedroom. We had our normal Friday night blessings.

No matter that surgery will be delayed till the knee is ready. He is alive.

Hug anyone you love who happens to be near. Sometimes their being alive is all we need.
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Author: Windowseat Big funky green star, 20000 posts Feste Award Nominee! Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870679 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/18/2013 9:56 PM
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Good lord!

I'm glad that there is good news mixed in with the bad. And this is a wonderful time to find out just how many friends you do have.

I feel helpless, sitting here on the other side of the country, but if there's anything at all I can do to help, please say so.

Thinking good thoughts.

Nancy

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Author: Hardboiled Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870680 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/18/2013 10:01 PM
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I'm so sorry. Please let others repay your many kindnesses as you take this journey to recovery with your DH. My prayers are with you - they're prayers for strength, healing, and peace. Gail

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Author: YewGuise Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870681 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/18/2013 10:25 PM
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...major car accident...

Yikes! Best wishes for a speedy and complete recovery!

...The phone has barely stopped ringing. We've been offered 5 dinners and already eaten two, (last night and tonight,) friends calling about helping with errands, shopping, more cooking, babysitting etc.
...Another friend is lining up friends to provide meals every night...


I'm so glad, and not at all surprised, given that you're always doing for others.

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Author: alstroemeria Big gold star, 5000 posts Top Recommended Fools Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870683 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/18/2013 11:04 PM
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OMG, Maryanne! My very best wishes for both of you. I hope your husband has an easy recovery. You have a wonderful attitude, and that will help both of you. He's alive! Yay!

{{{malaoshi}}}

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Author: PolymerMom Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870688 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/19/2013 12:14 AM
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That's such a terrible/wonderful outcome. I wish you the best of outcomes. You've already had one - he's alive and will recover!

PM

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Author: malaoshi Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870692 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/19/2013 12:46 AM
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Thanks for your warm wishes and support..

As I mentioned privately in a note to someone on this board I probably sound really nutty ...

I apologize. I am just a bit "high" on relief. My daughter showed me a photo of the totaled car that she took when she went to the police and tow yard to retrieve DH's keys, brief case etc..

That car is twisted off its front wheels, smashed in, car innards exposed. The police told her they ahd no idea how his head escaped injury...

My husband is not going to see that photo. But it would explain to you all why I sound nutty. I am so "high" with relief.

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Author: Gingko100 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870693 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/19/2013 12:54 AM
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Oh, that is horrifying! I'm so glad it wasn't worse.

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Author: jrdown Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870695 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/19/2013 3:50 AM
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Dear Big Momma ~

I am so shocked to hear what happened just a few days ago. I am grateful to God that your husband survived to live in the love of his wife and family.

Yes, being alive means so much.

Prayers being said from Oceanside,


Robyn

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Author: ChiliChild Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870699 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/19/2013 10:36 AM
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All the best to you and DH. This is where you collect the dividends on all the good the two of you have done. I am sure your near-by friends will overwhelmingly come to your aid while your cyber friends send warm wishes for a thorough recovery and wish they could help in some small way.

So glad this really bad news has the good news attached to it.

Chili

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Author: cabinsmama Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870700 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/19/2013 11:52 AM
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Thinking of you--how awful (but how wonderful that the injuries are ones that will heal)! Your friends sound terrific--kindness from others is so healing. Speedy recovery to your DH :-) Peace to you and your family.

cm

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Author: vkg Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870701 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/19/2013 12:21 PM
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I hope that recovery goes well. It is a good sign that he didn't need to stay in the hospital. It is good news that he doesn't have any head or neck injuries.

With broken ribs and arm, he isn't going to be able to use crutches. A wheelchair is going to make your life easier.

I believe, you are in California, which means that he should be eligible for state disability. The sooner the paperwork is started the better.

He is eligible for disabled handicapped parking. This doesn't necessarily help with doctor appointments, because many patients are eligible for disabled parking. Once he is feeling better and you are able to get out of the house, it is helpful.

Was the accident work related? Will he be eligible for workmen's comp?

Give him some time before assuming he will have to retire or lose his job. When things calm down, find his employer's policy regarding worker's on disability. There are some state and federal protections for disability. It may not seem like it now, but the broken ribs and arm will heal. The knee will probably require longer to heal and maybe surgery, but with some accomodations, he may be able to return to work in a couple of months.

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Author: isewquilts2 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870702 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/19/2013 1:16 PM
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((((((((((malaoshi)))))))))))

Cyberhugs and lots of good wishes coming your way.


isewquilts

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Author: MissEdithKeeler Big gold star, 5000 posts Top Recommended Fools Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870704 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/19/2013 1:59 PM
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I am so sorry this happened! But am glad he's going to be OK. You are such a good friend to others; I'm so glad your friends are helping you out now. Wish I was close by so I could help you with something, but you guys will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Janet

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Author: LuckyDog2002 Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870710 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/19/2013 8:23 PM
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Glad he is okay Malaoshi.......sending blessings your way.......you have great friends too, blessings they are as well.

Hugs,
LuckyDog

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Author: sissylue Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870711 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/19/2013 9:06 PM
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I'm so glad he is mostly OK. The ribs and arm will probably heal a lot faster than the knee. Knees can be pesky things I've discovered. With both a broken arm and a bum knee he is going to have some serious mobility issues for a while. Please line up some one to help you with the 'heavy' lifting - the last thing you need is for your back to go out! Best wishes for a speedy recovery

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Author: MetroChick Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870712 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/19/2013 11:46 PM
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I'm sorry for this latest major hurtle. Don't forget to also take time for yourself, since being a caregiver is a lot of work and you deserve breaks too.

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Author: MetroChick Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870713 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/19/2013 11:50 PM
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He is eligible for disabled handicapped parking. This doesn't necessarily help with doctor appointments, because many patients are eligible for disabled parking.

Won't necessarily help in shopping centers either, since people parking illegally in handicapped spots seems to be getting more and more common (at least around my area). Just saw 2 at the Target today of cars in spots with no tags/placards.

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Author: vkg Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870719 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/20/2013 11:53 AM
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Just saw 2 at the Target today of cars in spots with no tags/placards.

Around here the police agressively ticket illegally parking in handicapped spaces, and it is an expensive ticket. I don't see many cars illegally parked in handicap spaces.

There was one that had a very bad day. As I went up to an ATM, I saw the police ticketing a car in a handicapped space. As I left (the driver was in the ticketed car), the officer was checking damage on his police car. Apparently, they didn't check after receiving the ticket and backed into the police car.

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Author: MetroChick Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870723 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/20/2013 4:55 PM
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Around here the police agressively ticket illegally parking in handicapped spaces, and it is an expensive ticket. I don't see many cars illegally parked in handicap spaces.

It's posted that it's a $100+ ticket, but I rarely see illegal parkers in handicapped spots at shopping mall/big box lots ticketed. And unfortunately in the NOVA area it seems to be getting more and more popular to illegally use those spots.

When my employer moved to a new office this summer, it's an older office, so there's only a few handicapped spots, and the building is spaced a far walk from the parking lot. Plus there's a medical office in the building, which makes the spots highly used. I would only go into the office maybe once a week (I get to work from home), but kept seeing the same grey car parked in a handicapped spot with no tag or placard. So after a couple times of seeing it, I left the driver a note saying "If you have a handicapped placard, remember it's illegal to park in one of these spots without displaying it, and if you don't have a placard than be thankful of your good health that many others don't have, and don't take these spots from them". Well it was enough for the person to get a clue someone's watching, as I haven't seen that car in one of those spots since. I'm thinking of printing that out and putting a few in my car to leave on windshields when I see offenders.

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Author: Myownigloo Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870724 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/20/2013 4:55 PM
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Oh, Big Momma, hugs and blessings all around!

You know my number (and if you don't still have it, just mail me).

I want you to give my number to the person who's organizing the deliveries and such.

I mean that, so don't pooh pooh it and not give it her.

Love,
MOI

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Author: Frydaze1 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870728 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/20/2013 8:17 PM
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Hugs and gratitude that he's okay!!!


Frydaze1

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Author: jrdown Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870729 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/20/2013 9:50 PM
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Yesterday I went to the bank. I have a handicapped placard for my dad and myself. Another car pulled up in front of the bank, as well, and they displayed a handicapped license plate. One problem became a challenge to overcome. There is a space between the two that has "no parking" and yellow slanted painted lines so that someone who uses a wheelchair or other aid can easily get up onto the sidewalk. A very large black motorcycle parked in that space and did it diagonally so that there was no way the gal's wheelchair could get around it. I was really unhappy and when I went into the bank I spoke to the manager and, with a voice that could be heard (but not yelling), stated that someone has parked a motorcycle right in the space that needs to be used to get a wheelchair up on the sidewalk. She apologized but didn't do anything about it. I told her that I was ticked off and this was totally out of line. People did turn and look at me and, about 5 minutes later, a man carrying a black helmet started for the exit door. By the time he left the husband was able to push her wheelchair onto the sidewalk and go in the bank.

This is the first time I have seen someone intentionally park in the space like that. I have seen many other cars park in handicapped spaces without the correct license plate or the placard. I have also seen them idle the car while they are waiting to get something from a store but this just felt over-the-top to me.



Robyn

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Author: WendyBG Big gold star, 5000 posts Top Favorite Fools Top Recommended Fools Feste Award Winner! Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870730 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/20/2013 10:57 PM
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<Tonight we lit Shabbat candles on a little table in the bedroom. We had our normal Friday night blessings.

No matter that surgery will be delayed till the knee is ready. He is alive.>

Baruch Hashem! Thank G-D your DH is safe and that your family and friends are rallying around you!

Best wishes for a speedy recovery,

Wendy

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Author: MetroChick Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870734 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/21/2013 9:31 AM
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This is the first time I have seen someone intentionally park in the space like that. I have seen many other cars park in handicapped spaces without the correct license plate or the placard. I have also seen them idle the car while they are waiting to get something from a store but this just felt over-the-top to me.

I've actually seen cars parked in those van/wheelchair access area between 2 handicapped spots. It makes me hope those people get bad karma. And I've also seen people idling with no tags in those spots - it seems to happen more in parking lots with few handicapped spots - which makes it worse IMO. I've actually gone up to people waiting in their cars and asked where their placard is, and when they can't show one, take mine from behind my back and explain "because you were taking up this spot illegally, I had to go park farther up".

Maybe I'll write a letter to my local police department asking if they can be more vigilant about ticketing - with fines of $100-500, that's a better opportunity for revenue than red-light cameras.

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Author: Windowseat Big funky green star, 20000 posts Feste Award Nominee! Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870735 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/21/2013 10:49 AM
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There was an interesting case of parking in a handicapped spot a couple of years ago. You can see how she keeps justifying what she did.

http://www1.whdh.com/news/articles/local/north/1200133889518...

There was an update later.

http://www.salemnews.com/local/x1488642173/Woman-loses-appea...

Nancy

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Author: MetroChick Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870739 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/21/2013 1:08 PM
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“At the time I was still in a full sling, I was still on medication and I have a huge scar,” Eberle said.

So she's not just selfish for parking in a handicapped spot - she's admitting she probably shouldn't have been driving in the first place due to her injury and possible narcotic painkiller use. Classy.

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Author: desertdaveataol Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870748 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/21/2013 6:47 PM
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Maybe I'll write a letter to my local police department asking if they can be more vigilant about ticketing - with fines of $100-500, that's a better opportunity for revenue than red-light cameras.

Sounds like a good idea to me.

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Author: ptheland Big gold star, 5000 posts Feste Award Nominee! Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870755 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/21/2013 10:09 PM
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This is the first time I have seen someone intentionally park in the space like that.

Unfortunately, it happens more often than you'd think.

Because of his Cerebral Palsy, my son uses a wheelchair. He has a power wheelchair that gives him independence to move around wherever he wants. We have a van to move that wheelchair around. We absolutely need that space next to the handicapped parking spot to get his wheelchair in and out of the car. It is too heavy for me to lift into the car.

Several times I've had to circle parking lots because someone was parked in that no parking space. And once I had someone park in it while we were in the store shopping. I was just about to pull our van out and block the drive way so I could get my son into the car when the offending driver came out. Needless to say, I read her the riot act.

Please, if you see someone parked that way, just call the local police (on their NON emergency number) and ask that they be ticketed and towed. They won't always be able to do anything, but they certainly can't do anything if they don't know about it.

--Peter

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Author: ThyPeace Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870780 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/22/2013 11:44 AM
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If anyone would like to send Malaoshi a card or gift, I happen to have her snail mail address. I don't want to give it out without her permission, but I would be happy to collect donations and then send it to her from all of us at TMF. Send me a private mail if you want to.

ThyPeace, thinks that him being alive after that is indeed a huge cause for celebration.

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Author: RetiredVermonter Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870843 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/24/2013 11:02 AM
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So sorry to hear about that accident! But I am also glad he at least survived and will, hopefully, recover from this dreadful event.

Off topic, but sort of related...

As for people parking in "Handicapped" places, we have one of those plastic markers we can hang from the mirror (because I have a painful, arthritic right hip), and we are always amazed at how many people park there without any such card showing.

However, what appalls us even more is how many people somehow assume that they can and should leave their empty chopping carts in handicapped spaces!!! Why!? This often happens within a very few steps of clearly marked areas the stores provide where people SHOULD leave their carts!

Weird. Stupid.

We witnessed it just yesterday, after we parked in an adjoining space. My wife got out and commented angrily to the woman who had just left her cart there; the woman merely replied "What do you care? You have your place!" Then she got in, lit up her cigarette, and drove off.

She was one of the nasties. Thankfully, there are a lot of NICE folks around, too. I hope this family continues to receive support from such folks for a long time to come.

Vermonter

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Author: larryf42 Three stars, 500 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870850 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/24/2013 9:28 PM
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However, what appalls us even more is how many people somehow assume that they can and should leave their empty chopping carts in handicapped spaces!!!

Boy where do I start?

I have seen handicapped people who walk leave carts in handicapped spaces so I cannot get my wheelchair out.

I have seen 4 young kids run out of a grocery store and jump in Grandma's older, large cruiser parked in handicapped parking with a hanger.

I have had people park in the space between handicapped parking spaces and tell me they though it was a parking space.

I have parked right behind someone who parked in this space. Boy are they upset when I finally return from shopping and want to call the police. I said go ahead since I am sure the fine for blocking 2 handicapped parking spots will be much more than parking in just one.

The all time thing I will never get able to understand is the person who has the hanger or handicapped plates who parks in handicapped parking, and their spouse or child gets out and runs into the store.

This should be a $1000.00 fine and revoke their handicapped parking privileges for life.

You cannot cure stupid.

I did leave a note on a car one time in a parking lot that I used at the same time every week, Sunday morning, at the massage school. A woman parked in handicapped parking without plates or hanger for a strip mall church since it was close and got out wearing extra high heeled shoes.

I left a note that said:

"Anyone who can walk in shoes like that is NOT HANDICAPPED. Make, model, and color of your car along with your license plate number will be reported to DMV."

Over the past 2 years, I have seen her car parked in other spots but never again in handicapped parking.

Years ago when the Vietnam Vets returned home some of them would carry wire cutters in their cars. A car does not get very far with all the valve stems cut off the wheels.

They survived Vietnam. There was not much that could be done to them that would scare them.

Thank you,

Larry

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Author: Windowseat Big funky green star, 20000 posts Feste Award Nominee! Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870853 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/25/2013 12:18 AM
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Years ago when the Vietnam Vets returned home some of them would carry wire cutters in their cars. A car does not get very far with all the valve stems cut off the wheels.

Of course, there's always forgetfulness. Years ago I was leaving work and as I got in my car I noticed that the car facing me, which was in a handicapped spot, didn't have a tag. As I buckled my seat belt I muttered curses about selfish people taking spots that other people needed, and was wondering if I should leave a note, when I saw a co-worker approach and get in the car. As he was putting his wheelchair in I called to him and told him what I had been thinking, and he agreed that he should put the hanger on the mirror.

Nancy

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Author: hunnypot1 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870856 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/25/2013 4:11 AM
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Sorry to hear of his accident and injuries. I agree it is too soon to decide this will force him into retirement. Praying for quick and thorough healing.

:)

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Author: RetiredVermonter Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 870859 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 1/25/2013 9:40 AM
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larryf42:

I sympathize.

We say that those (non handicapped) people who park there like that are MENTALLY handicapped!

Vermonter

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Author: mollyd77 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 871218 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 2/2/2013 10:29 AM
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Sorry to hear of his injuries but so glad not worse. I have heard Hondas hold up well, glad if this one was able to afford him some protection in the crash. Get well soon, Mr M!

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Author: stevenjklein Big funky green star, 20000 posts Feste Award Nominee! Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 871260 of 884902
Subject: Re: Bad news, good news.. Date: 2/3/2013 7:30 PM
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He should have a refuah shlema (complete recovery).

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