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Author: Rael137 Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 5016  
Subject: Re: Dealing with racist relatives Date: 10/15/2012 3:31 PM
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But to me, keeping my mouth shut isn't even an option.

Thanks for the advice - I have the same problem (can't just grin & bear it).

My main tactic when he starts spinning up a story like that is to say "wow, you seem to run into situations like this a lot. I don't recall it ever happening to me." This hasn't been very effective but if I try to refute it he says "I was there and you weren't." Using my own experiences just creates a "top this" response.

The only time I really confront it is when we are in public together: one time he started off on how the Hispanic waitress supposedly was "rude" and was "staring at my wife". So I said "this is obviously bothering you a lot, so we should leave right now." That quieted him down but by the time we got home he was back at it.

So why should I really care? They live in a completely different area of the country and we don't interact a lot. But this family event (a wedding) will expose the new members to this crap and I really don't want the new in-laws to think we are all like that. Unfortunately, the general culture of non-confrontation means that others won't speak up.
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