c44:thank you for your email... i am publicly apologising for my rudenessin taking a swipe at your user name... that was uncalled for, and ratherchildish.....i'm afraid that i took what you had to say far too personally, and no doubt my situation is quite different from that ofyour heirs....i must say that it disturbs me however, that you ASSUME the inheritancewill be, to use your words, pissed away... i understand that these arenot your children, and while it is extrememly generous of you to wish toinclude them in your will, perhaps you dont know them well enoughto recognise that they may be people of character; ergo, you feel safer exercising strict control...my father was afraid i would either buy a ranch in my beloved kenya and move there, or else that i would fall prey to some dastardly fortune-hunter, or both, and so left me in an incredibly tight trust--(i was48 yers old) with my mother as my trustee until she died 20 years laterat age 96. my parents disapproved of my life style and tried to maintain tight control....(my mother used to say that the only way they could controlme was thru money)... but even with a restrictive trust they couldnt.. i had divorced my husband and took no alimony (just wanted out)..they disapproved..i left a highly prestigious job to open my own business with the 2 years severance pay i received, they disapproved,... sold my expensive park avenue apartment to buy a small affordable apartment in a less statusy neighborhood,..they disapproved.....PS: my biz is successful and i have lived very well and happily ever after.....i have 3 warm and wonderful children, all in their 40's,` and i amproviding for them in ways that will give them opportunities to growand use their inheritances wisely as well as enjoyably.....there are no restrictions...i trust them and their integrity...but i still resent the distrust and disapproval of my parents, and obviously that played a part in my irritation at you.once again, i apologise for my rudeness in mocking your name. but please, i urge you to loosen your grip a little...they will appreciate you more, and.........managing money can be character building, y'know.sincerely,sashamore
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