IMMIGRATIONThe flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Tea Party and the Republican success in taking control of the House of Representatives are prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and to agree with Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck.Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?”In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through and Rush annoyed the cows so much that they wouldn't give any milk.”Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons and drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves." A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a single bottle of imported drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley Cabernet, though."When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans in powdered wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the '50s. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age." an official said.Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic broccoli shortage and are renting all the Michael Moore movies. "I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them." an Ottawa resident said. "How many art history majors does one country need?"
" "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age." an official said."Heh heh.....half the population has never heard of Lawrence Welk..even though I still think he's on PBS weekly.......re runs.....from 40 years ago.....There were actually two.....accordion players for you trivia hounds....Myron Floren.....the main one featured all the time....but every now and then in a blue moon....both Lawrence and Myron would play a duet..... Lawrence Welk was an accordion player who formed his own band.......traveled around the state doing dances......they made the big time after years and years....t
There may be a flood of immigrants if the tea party and the evangelical american taliban take over. It would be rule by God, much the same as Iran.
There may be a flood of immigrants if the tea party and the evangelical american taliban take over. It would be rule by God, much the same as Iran.Fortunately, the tea party runs *against* the evangelical American taliban - you know, the folks who believe that everyone who disagrees with them in the slightest is stupid and evil. In other words, leftists.
Fortunately, the tea party runs *against* the evangelical American taliban - you know, the folks who believe that everyone who disagrees with them in the slightest is stupid and evil. In other words, leftists. And don't forget the other group: The folks who believe that everyone who disagrees with them in the slightest is stupid, irresponsible and evil. In other words: Righties. ; )Icemann
The folks who believe that everyone who disagrees with them in the slightest is stupid, irresponsible and evil. In other words: Righties. ; )And here I thought you were talking about lefties! :)
Last year we were at my mother-in-law's when she tuned to the Lawrence Welk Show and commented that it might be a new one. DW told her they are all reruns. MIL explained that the yesterday's show was brand new.To be honest, I don't know if she votes Democrat or Republican.Keith
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