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Author: AAAAmanda Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 32850  
Subject: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/19/2004 5:33 AM
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NotMaggie's post made me think of behaviors that I wouldn't be willing to deal with on a date. Obviously, cussing a blue streak, grabbing my butt or getting falling down drunk would all fall in that category. But I was thinking, what else?

For me, it's when I disagree with a guy, and rather than coming up with reasonable examples of why my position is incorrect, the guy repeats what I say in a mocking tone of voice. Here I am, being quite serious, and he's making it clear that he doesn't take me seriously. Nothing, absolutely nothing, can make my blood pressure spike faster.

I realize that it happens more likely than not, because the guy can't come up with a good argument and figures harassment will still allow him to win the argument by default.

Not in my little universe.

So tell me, what actions from the opposite sex can you not stand, and refuse to put up with?

Amanda
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Author: CassWoman Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16642 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/19/2004 5:41 AM
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So tell me, what actions from the opposite sex can you not stand, and refuse to put up with?

Lack of respect in any form, whether it is mocking me as you mentioned, Amanda, or trying to get in my pants even though I've TOLD the guy it ain't gonna happen anytime soon. Multiple examples abound, but the basic underlying concept is lack of respect for me and my wishes.

Cassandra

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Author: SweetPeee Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16643 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/19/2004 10:39 AM
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I once met a girl online. We went to one of her favorite watering holes to meet. She walked in, met me,said she was already buzzed, then proceeded to walk around and say hi to everyone she knew at the bar leaving me sitting with her girlfriend.Her girlfriend was much cuter than her but too young, the girl I went there to meet was actually heavy set.

I go to leave and she's all putting her arms around me for a kiss saying "we are going to a different bar...come along". I just told her I was leaving for home.

So paying attention to me is important as well as not being "buzzed" before the date even starts. I never made contact after that.

LIARS are also walk away without another word material...


J.P.

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Author: ellaluna Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16647 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/19/2004 12:02 PM
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Men who resort to ethnic or homophobic "slurs" and then tell me they "don't really mean it" when I call them on it. (For example: "I really got jewed on that one", "That's so gay" "I hired a couple of wetbacks to dig a ditch")

It's not about being PC, it's about having enough social skills to recognize that it's inappropriate to behave that boorishly in front of someone you've only just met.

If you don't really mean it, then quit saying it. Get a freakin' dictionary! Expand your vocabulary.

ellaluna

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Author: ROTJob Big funky green star, 20000 posts Top Favorite Fools Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16648 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/19/2004 12:10 PM
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For me it would be a woman with no sense of humor, or one that is drastically different from mine. I joke around a lot and do not intend to change that, so she needs to get the jokes, if not appreciate them.

Also, if she was hung up on trying to change me, or get me to stop one or more of my habits. I am who I am. Don't try to change me. If you can put up with me, fine. We can hang out. If not, don't let the door hit you in the butt on your way out. Just don't try to change me. That is one of the rudest habits I can think of.


RJ

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Author: MaestroCindi Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16649 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/19/2004 12:58 PM
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So tell me, what actions from the opposite sex can you not stand, and refuse to put up with?

Bad manners. But it's not just from the opposite sex, it for friends/family too.

Some people might think I'm being prissy about it, but I don't understand why we put on our best manners for strangers, people we'll likely never see again, but then act like disgusting beasts around the people we supposedly love. IMO, it should be the other way around, where you treat the people close to you the best you can, and that includes good manners.

Now that doesn't mean there are never exceptions, like when you've got the flu and don't have as much control over bodily functions. But for instance, I was close friends with one couple, and most nights after dinner the husband would have horrible gas. First of all, if you're in your early 30's and have so much gas, either something's wrong with your body or your diet. Second, he'd pass gas for hours, and then try to sex-up his wife when then went to bed and she'd turn him away. I don't blame her -- I wouldn't be attracted to a guy who spent the past couple hours farting in front of me!

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Author: SweetPeee Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16650 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/19/2004 1:36 PM
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Get a freakin' dictionary!

There are some places, particularly down south in the bible belt, that see the term "freakin'" as being a very rude term ;-)

I know at least of few gay people that would not be offeneded if I said "does this shirt look gay?". I don't understand the term "queer" being acceptable to gay people. Queer to me means odd. You get a show called "Queer eye for the strait guy" and they're talking to straight guys saying "this might look too gay for you" and that's okay...

I also don't understand black youths using the word "nigga" when speaking to eachother.I understand that they aren't pronouncing the "R" at the end of it, but I don't understand why they say it in any variation at all. There's some vocabulary that could use expanding.

J.P.

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Author: Joelsenior Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16656 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/19/2004 2:38 PM
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So tell me, what actions from the opposite sex can you not stand, and refuse to put up with?

Amanda

====================================================================

I'm pretty easy going but I did think of one thing.

It's when a chick starts going out with me, then we fall in love,
get married, build a family then after 15 years she decides all my working to put bread on the table and a roof over everyone's head
is a bad thing and she tosses me out of my house and takes half of everything.

I won't put up with that anymore

Joelsenior



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Author: Joelsenior Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16657 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/19/2004 2:39 PM
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Her girlfriend was much cuter than her but too young, the girl I went there to meet was actually heavy set.

J.P. ===========================================================


What's wrong with you

Joelsenior

ps was the friend under 18 or something?

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Author: ellaluna Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16659 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/19/2004 3:11 PM
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There are some places, particularly down south in the bible belt, that see the term "freakin'" as being a very rude term ;-)

Good to know! lol

I know at least of few gay people that would not be offeneded if I said "does this shirt look gay?". I don't understand the term "queer" being acceptable to gay people. Queer to me means odd. You get a show called "Queer eye for the strait guy" and they're talking to straight guys saying "this might look too gay for you" and that's okay... I also don't understand black youths using the word "nigga" when speaking to eachother


Context is everything, of course. Saying to a gay friend "Does this shirt look gay" is totally different from saying "God, I hate her, she's so gay!" meaning stupid, lame, or unacceptable.

A really great explanation about this on dictionary.com:

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=queer
(see usage notes)

Didn't mean to hijack this thread. :-)

ellaluna


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Author: NotMaggie Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16661 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/19/2004 3:23 PM
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Context is everything, of course. Saying to a gay friend "Does this shirt look gay" is totally different from saying "God, I hate her, she's so gay!" meaning stupid, lame, or unacceptable.

A really great explanation about this on dictionary.com:

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=queer
(see usage notes)

Didn't mean to hijack this thread. :-)

ellaluna


Oh, I love you ellaluna! I decided to directly copy from the above link the section about the usage of "queer" as it relates to GLBTQ usage:

_________________________________________
Usage Note: A reclaimed word is a word that was formerly used solely as a slur but that has been semantically overturned by members of the maligned group, who use it as a term of defiant pride. Queer is an example of a word undergoing this process. For decades queer was used solely as a derogatory adjective for gays and lesbians, but in the 1980s the term began to be used by gay and lesbian activists as a term of self-identification. Eventually, it came to be used as an umbrella term that included gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgendered people. Nevertheless, a sizable percentage of people to whom this term might apply still hold queer to be a hateful insult, and its use by heterosexuals is often considered offensive. Similarly, other reclaimed words are usually offensive to the in-group when used by outsiders, so extreme caution must be taken concerning their use when one is not a member of the group.
_________________________________________



For background, the term "queer" has become popular in the GLBTQ community, but it is absolutely NOT universally accepted even there. I had a very recent incident in which my use of the term was suspect. In general terms, I (like several other communities I participate in) use the term "queer" in a proactive, self-affirming and inclusive manner. Some in the GLBTQ community do not accept it, though. When I spoke with a person active in GLBTQ political matters, she told me that it is actually considered a politically-correct term for the most part, but is aware that some do not approve of the term. She said it is a matter of individual preference and tact should be used when using it with unfamiliar persons.

Meg


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Author: NotMaggie Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16662 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/19/2004 3:27 PM
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Could you guess I'd notice this thread? LOL! Thank you for posting it.

I think I'll sit back and just peruse for a while. My own topic has created a rather interesting amount of response; to be honest, most it was quite predictable, but I'm grateful for these boards and the respondents for usually coherent and well-considered responses. I'm actually surprised at how serious people have been on it, as well, so it has struck quite a chord.

I have to write more often when I'm ticked off.

Meg

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Author: catdaddy7 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16663 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/19/2004 3:29 PM
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So paying attention to me is important as well as not being "buzzed" before the date even starts. I never made contact after that.

LIARS are also walk away without another word material...


JP, are we twins or something? 100% with you on those, dude.

cd

P.S. For the record, you're "Good Ash" and I'm "Evil Ash"

P.P.S. Little goodie two shoes

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Author: sofaking6 Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16681 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/19/2004 6:33 PM
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So tell me, what actions from the opposite sex can you not stand, and refuse to put up with?

Threatening me is always a negative. I may have mentioned before the fellow who, not 30 minutes into our first date, said he'd break all of my fingers if I ever opened a door in his presence again.

6

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Author: ellaluna Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16683 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/19/2004 6:43 PM
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Other things I've noticed that bug me, especially in my online search, that seem a bit shallow (I mean of me):

If a guy can't spell, or if he obviously doesn't understand the format of the questions, or if he uses text messaging "cheats" I'm immediately turned off and won't even wink. It's stupid, I know, but it just shows a lack of attention to detail that drives me mad.

I also get annoyed at the men who wink at me or email me, and with regards to "Spirituality" say "As long as you believe in God, that's all right by me". HELLO! What part of "atheist" do you not understand???

Of course, I also wrote a long email to Match.com detailing all of the things I thought they should improve.

So when I say "I'm easygoing" in my profile, I'm lying, aren't I?

***Sighhhhhhhh***

I really don't care what he looks like, I just want him to be LITERATE without being a complete stick in the mud. Why isn't there a literacy screening test?

God, I'm such a snob. I can't wait to get flamed on this one.

ellaluna

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Author: Enigma0820 One star, 50 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16684 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/19/2004 7:10 PM
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one thing that grates me is when ppl fish for compliments. there was this one guy i met up at starbucks for coffee, and i know he likes me, but i'm more looking for people to hang out with vs a relationship. he's one of those cynical-gets offended easily type of guy. in the middle of conversation he asks, "have you met any cute guys lately?" seriously-wtf kind of question is that? so...i said 'no.' and he gets all offended and snippy and says, "well thanks a lot!". so i straight out told him to curb the attitude and stop fishing for compliments because i'm not one to give them if thats what you're lookin for. now he likes me even more because i speak my mind and am not a pushover...geeze...

oh-one other thing...people that feel the need to "one up" me. like if someone asks me how my day is, and i say its been a bad day and they say-well-it cant be as bad as mine! or like when i told someone that i wasnt going to be home during the afternoon b/c my apt doesnt have a/c and its gets around 82-84-i'm going to head out to the bookstore or the mall, and he says, "well at my apt it gets up to 87, but i stay in!" wtf??? i dont give a rat's ass what you do! i'm just telling you if you need to reach me i wont be at my apt b/c its hot and i can find someone else to chill...sheesh...

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Author: Primm69 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16685 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/19/2004 7:50 PM
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God, I'm such a snob. I can't wait to get flamed on this one.

No flaming here.

"intelegent, with a sence of humour" is one that I find incredibly annoying. And it crops up SO MANY TIMES!

Tip for anyone putting their profile on an internet dating service - use a spell-checker. Or get a friend to read it first, at the very least.

If you claim to be intelligent, demonstrate it.

Primm

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Author: sofaking6 Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16686 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/19/2004 8:16 PM
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People who don't know what the shift key is for...

6

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Author: SweetPeee Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16688 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/19/2004 10:16 PM
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If a guy can't spell, or if he obviously doesn't understand the format of the questions,

God, I'm such a snob. I can't wait to get flamed on this one.



{raising hand} "Ooooo...me!Me! I am not sure about the format thing, but do you really hold it against a guy if he's not a good speller? Where in women's evolution did being able to spell make it on the list of things that make a man a good catch? I am not a good speller and I admit that without hesitation. On a standardized I.Q. test, it's what kept me in the high average.In a certain other category (non-verbal) on the same test, I'm borderline genius. It amazes me that people who have a big vocabulary or are good at spelling think it's the sole measure of intelligence.I realize you didn't say that explicitly, but it's been brought up before here years ago. Those that have spelling/vocabulary as their strong suit, might seriously be lacking in some other category. Kinda keeps the playing field even that way...


J.P.

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Author: satiranarchist Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16689 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/19/2004 10:24 PM
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I went on a date a couple years back with a woman that was not especially attractive, but she seemed to have interesting, artistic qualities. We get in the restaurant, order, then she proceeds to initiate a conversation about the sexual inadequacies of her ex. In detail.
Drag me behind a car for a few blocks. I don't know if she was trying to tell me that she was "available" for whoopee, but it was a huge turnoff and boring. When we got done and out to our vehicles (we had arrived in seperate cars), she asked what I was then going to do. "I think I'll go home", I replied.

*JR*

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Author: Enigma0820 One star, 50 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16692 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/19/2004 11:38 PM
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People who don't know what the shift key is for...

damn...must be referring to me. sorry. my shift key wigs out on me so much that i've just gotten into the habit of not using it when i'm on my laptop. i'll make an effort to...next time-haha

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Author: ishtarastarte Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16693 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/20/2004 12:23 AM
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Men who resort to ethnic or homophobic "slurs" and then tell me they "don't really mean it" when I call them on it. (For example: "I really got jewed on that one", "That's so gay" "I hired a couple of wetbacks to dig a ditch")

It's not about being PC, it's about having enough social skills to recognize that it's inappropriate to behave that boorishly in front of someone you've only just met.

If you don't really mean it, then quit saying it. Get a freakin' dictionary! Expand your vocabulary.


AGREE!

Add to that someone that makes fun of me in anyway. Like, most here know I'm Pagan. If the guy starts making stupid witch jokes, and doesn't stop when I say I don't like it, he's gone.

Actually, making fun of me in most ways, I just don't like that sort of humor. Like doing something to "get a rise" out of me.

I enjoy risque jokes, but a first date is too early for a really RAUNCY jokes.

Hmmm, have to think some more.

Ishtar

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Author: NiceGuyMax Three stars, 500 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16694 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/20/2004 12:44 AM
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<God, I'm such a snob. I can't wait to get flamed on this one.

<No flaming here.

<"intelegent, with a sence of humour" is one that I find incredibly annoying. And it crops up SO MANY TIMES!

<Tip for anyone putting their profile on an internet dating service - use a spell-checker. Or get a friend to read it first, at the very least.

<If you claim to be intelligent, demonstrate it.

Primm



"I'm dumb as a bag of rocks" :)

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Author: NiceGuyMax Three stars, 500 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16695 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/20/2004 12:47 AM
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People who don't know what the shift key is for...


I work 3rd shift and have lots of keys. :)
-- MrMax --


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Author: ellaluna Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16697 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/20/2004 1:28 AM
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I am not a good speller and I admit that without hesitation. On a standardized I.Q. test, it's what kept me in the high average.In a certain other category (non-verbal) on the same test, I'm borderline genius. It amazes me that people who have a big vocabulary or are good at spelling think it's the sole measure of intelligence.

See, and I know all that! I'm a literacy tutor fer cryin' out loud! But it is such an instant turn-off for me. It's completely lame, and I realize that, and I tell myself everything I learned about spelling and and learning styles over and over again, but it still just bugs the crap out of me! It makes me cringe!

Well, and there is something to be said for spell check. On a message board like this or on IM, I don't expect it, but when you are posting your profile on a dating site? seriously.

ellaluna the snob

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Author: Primm69 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16698 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/20/2004 2:07 AM
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<If you claim to be intelligent, demonstrate it.
Primm

"I'm dumb as a bag of rocks" :)


See, I may have come across as a little more shallow than I believe I am here.

I have no problem with men who can't spell. It's just that these days, with spell checkers & all, it's such an easy problem to get around.

Dumb men - no problem. Long as they can handle themselves in bed, I'm happy.

BUT men who say/believe they are cleverer than me, and then proceed to spend the whole date trying to prove it, when they so obviously aren't, get my hackles up. I like a man who isn't as smart as me to be impressed!

Primm
*actually, I really am pretty shallow, aren't I?*

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Author: Daddyswish Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16699 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/20/2004 2:24 AM
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BUT men who say/believe they are cleverer than me...

I think you mean "cleverer than I."


Swish

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Author: Primm69 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16700 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/20/2004 2:54 AM
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I think you mean "cleverer than I."

Doggam it! I knew that I should have been a bit more careful with my editing when writing a post like that, but Noooooo, I had to go ahead & hit submit anyway, without reading over first, despite the little voice saying "you need to be careful. They're going to nitpick this one..."

Primm
*embarrassed*


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Author: Primm69 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16701 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/20/2004 2:55 AM
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PS Thanks for the antlers, Swish.

Primm

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Author: Daddyswish Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16702 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/20/2004 3:28 AM
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PS Thanks for the antlers, Swish.

No problem. Thanks for the "Doe!"


Swish

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Author: SweetPeee Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16705 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/20/2004 8:25 AM
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BUT men who say/believe they are cleverer than me, and then proceed to spend the whole date trying to prove it, when they so obviously aren't, get my hackles up. I like a man who isn't as smart as me to be impressed!

I would love to be a fly on the wall during a date where they guy feels the same exact way...it would be like watching a round of Jeopardy ;-)

J.P.(my brain can peee farther than yours!! <g>)



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Author: SweetPeee Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16706 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/20/2004 8:27 AM
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Primm
*embarrassed*


It's spelled:"um...bare assed"

J.P.



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Author: Primm69 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16707 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/20/2004 8:37 AM
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I would love to be a fly on the wall during a date where they guy feels the same exact way...it would be like watching a round of Jeopardy ;-)

Yep. Like I said, I'm shallow. But at least I admit it.

(my brain can peee farther than yours!! <g>)

Can not!! ;-)

Primm



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Author: sofaking6 Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16712 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/20/2004 11:55 AM
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It amazes me that people who have a big vocabulary or are good at spelling think it's the sole measure of intelligence

Spelling is not the sole measure of intelligence, and I doubt anyone here meant to say that.

However...people who read learn to spell (unless they really are stupid and incapable of learning), so it follows that a bad speller is an infrequent reader and therefore, most likely, a less interesting and educated person than many of us would like to spend time with.

6

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Author: AAAAmanda Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16713 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/20/2004 12:29 PM
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It amazes me that people who have a big vocabulary or are good at spelling think it's the sole measure of intelligence

Naw, that ain't it. The truth is, a lot of people who write personal ads online, are trying their best to attract people and get them to contact them. This means that they are trying to sound witty and charming and use all their best moves. Why on earth would someone who is going to all that trouble not do a quick check with a spellchecker? One or two misspelled words - no big deal. If you know that spelling is a real problem for you, you should do your best to minimize it in case it affects a potential date.

Amanda

Been there, done that, got dates anyway since I had a decent vocabulary.

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Author: SweetPeee Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16714 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/20/2004 12:38 PM
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However...people who read learn to spell (unless they really are stupid and incapable of learning), so it follows that a bad speller is an infrequent reader and therefore, most likely, a less interesting and educated person than many of us would like to spend time with.

people who read learn to spell (unless they really are stupid and incapable of learning)? Hmmmm...

A bad speller is an infrequent reader? Hmmmm...

Sigh...

J.P.



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Author: TheResultsKid Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16715 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/20/2004 12:46 PM
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Ya know.....ya know....

I can not spell to save my life. But I crunch numbers as if I was drinking water.....totally natural....

call me a brainless fool...but we are at a financial web site.....

db...who was not ejumakated......

PS I go back to school on Monday to learn how to read.....

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Author: AAAAmanda Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16717 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/20/2004 1:16 PM
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However...people who read learn to spell (unless they really are stupid and incapable of learning), so it follows that a bad speller is an infrequent reader and therefore, most likely, a less interesting and educated person than many of us would like to spend time with.

6


I read like a fiend, so that doesn't apply to my lack of spelling ability. What does apply is my laziness about learning the rules.

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Author: SweetPeee Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16718 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/20/2004 1:22 PM
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I can not spell to save my life. But I crunch numbers as if I was drinking water.....totally natural....

Thanks kid! I was searching for the right words without sounding...egotistical.Actually, it might not come off that way if I mention my glaring flaw. I am in school (college) also with a 3.66 GPA, I read every day and I was into that habbit long before college. Non-verbal ability: look at these five things and tell us which one doesn't belong or which is next in the sequence. My ability to do that is right up there with Rainman or A Beautiful Mind...it would be nice if that ability were in demand,but I don't know what type of career would need that ability. I have an audio disability combined with post traumatic stress disorder (I was never a war vet...go figure). I can hear a angel fart. In a class room I hear the buzzing of the lights overhead, the fan on the overhead projector, papers shuffling, cars outside.I hear this all at once. There are times where I only hear about ten minutes of a forty minute lecture (I have to tape all lectures).It's good for listening to music and picking apart tracks (one most popular music I can name every instrument and what lines they are playing usually after one sitting, but I can't think of any way to turn it into a career.

It kind of evens out. What I lack in spelling and vocabulary I make up for in other ways. In fact, if I were sitting talking to people in person, they'd never know I had a disability.

J.P.

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Author: sofaking6 Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16720 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/20/2004 1:32 PM
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I read like a fiend, so that doesn't apply to my lack of spelling ability. What does apply is my laziness about learning the rules.


You don't seem to have a spelling problem.

What rules, anyway?

6

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Author: JonBeer Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16721 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/20/2004 1:38 PM
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look at these five things and tell us which one doesn't belong or which is next in the sequence....).It's good for listening to music and picking apart tracks (one most popular music I can name every instrument and what lines they are playing usually after one sitting, but I can't think of any way to turn it into a career.


Thought about being an intelligence analyst for the CIA or DoD or something? I hear they're having some problems in interpreting stuff right now...

JB

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Author: MaestroCindi Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16722 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/20/2004 1:41 PM
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However...people who read learn to spell (unless they really are stupid and incapable of learning), so it follows that a bad speller is an infrequent reader and therefore, most likely, a less interesting and educated person than many of us would like to spend time with.

I read a lot, graduated magna cum laude with my undergrad, have a master's degree, took 6 years of Spanish and French in high school/junior high, and can understand but not speak a 4th language, and I've always been a horrible speller of English, and with spellcheck my spelling skills have deteriorated. Spelling doesn't prove overall intelligence.

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Author: koralis Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16724 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/20/2004 1:53 PM
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BUT men who say/believe they are cleverer than me

Would that be, "more clever"? (sorry, I really couldn't resist. :)




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Author: Joelsenior Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16726 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/20/2004 1:57 PM
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Dumb men - no problem. Long as they can handle themselves in bed, I'm happy.
Primm ========================================================


Wouldn't you rather have them handle you instead
Joelsenior, genius

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Author: Daddyswish Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16734 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/20/2004 2:16 PM
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Would that be, "more clever"? (sorry, I really couldn't resist. :)

Nope. http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=cleverer


Swish

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Author: AAAAmanda Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16788 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/21/2004 11:13 AM
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I read like a fiend, so that doesn't apply to my lack of spelling ability. What does apply is my laziness about learning the rules.

You don't seem to have a spelling problem.

What rules, anyway?

6


Spellcheck is my best friend.

Rules like "'i' before 'e' except after 'c'." (Which I forget on a regular basis.)

My vocabulary outstrips my spelling often enough that sometimes spellck can't find it and I'll have to find a word that's almost good enough. What I really hate is "tion", "shion", "shun", "sion" and the like. If English weren't such the bastard child of so many languages, it would make it a heck of a lot easier to spell.

Amanda

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Author: MrInappropriate Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16794 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/21/2004 12:23 PM
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I read a lot, graduated magna cum laude with my undergrad, have a master's degree, took 6 years of Spanish and French in high school/junior high, and can understand but not speak a 4th language, and I've always been a horrible speller of English, and with spellcheck my spelling skills have deteriorated.

Spelling doesn't prove overall intelligence.



Nor does education for that matter.

MIA


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Author: SweetPeee Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16799 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/21/2004 3:10 PM
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Spelling doesn't prove overall intelligence.


Nor does education for that matter.

============================================

It's probably a better indicator of intelligence, but I find a lot of the intellectual types are not very street smart. That statement has nothing to do with Cindi.My sister always did well in school...Straight A's.Did very well in college as well. Not to long ago she got hustled on the street trying to help a girl out who said she lived an hour away and couldn't get home (her car battery died). Can't remember the whole conversation as I wasn't there, but this girl was in my sister's apartment using her phone to call home (naturally no one answered) my sister ended up giving her around $40 for a new car battery. The grifter gave sis her home address and # saying she would pay her back. Sis calls the next day and they never heard of this person. That would have never happened to me. I would ask were the car is or tell her I'd call a cop for her, then gauge her reaction.Then again, my sister is a lot more religious than I am and probably couldn't resist a person needing help.

J.P.

P.S. All the time I've been posting here over the years, I never knew any of that about Cindi.There's something to be said about unassuming people :-)

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Author: whafa Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16801 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/21/2004 3:31 PM
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I think there are lots of different kinds of intelligence -- physical, social, emotional, informational. The trick is to work on the weak ones. But it's really what you do that's important. One of the brightest, most thoughtful people I know, isn't doing anything with his life. So it doesn't really matter how smart he is.

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Author: JimZipCode Big funky green star, 20000 posts Feste Award Nominee! Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16810 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/21/2004 10:51 PM
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One of the brightest, most thoughtful people I know, isn't doing anything with his life. So it doesn't really matter how smart he is.

Hey! Cut it out! I don't talk about YOU on the boards.


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Author: MaestroCindi Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16827 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/22/2004 10:34 AM
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Nor does education for that matter.

One poster said if you can't spell you probably don't read much and are less likely to be very educated. My point was spelling doesn't correlate with any of that. It's like saying if you have horrible handwriting you must not be intelligent, while many doctors have horrible handwriting.

Oh, and having grown up in the Washington DC area and spending 8 1/2 years in New York City, I'm plenty street smart.

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Author: PopeyesAddict Two stars, 250 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16828 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/22/2004 10:35 AM
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"intelegent, with a sence of humour" is one that I find incredibly annoying. And it crops up SO MANY TIMES!

Tip for anyone putting their profile on an internet dating service - use a spell-checker. Or get a friend to read it first, at the very least.

If you claim to be intelligent, demonstrate it.


Maybe THEY aren't intelligent, but are looking for someone intelligent to do all of their writing for them.

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Author: SweetPeee Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16833 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/22/2004 11:09 AM
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Oh, and having grown up in the Washington DC area and spending 8 1/2 years in New York City, I'm plenty street smart.

So you're obviously intelligent, street smart and humble.What IS wrong with this picture?


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Author: Primm69 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16878 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/22/2004 7:01 PM
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It's like saying if you have horrible handwriting you must not be intelligent, while many doctors have horrible handwriting.

The implication being that doctors are intelligent.

Trust me, as a nurse who has worked with them for 15 years, this statement is not necessarily true! Book smart, yes, but no idea...

Primm
*knows some pretty dumb doctors*


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Author: ccschafer150 Two stars, 250 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16957 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/24/2004 1:11 AM
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[[One poster said if you can't spell you probably don't read much and are less likely to be very educated.]]

There are a lot of different ways to learn and we all have different gifts. Some people do become better spellers over the years as they read more, because they have the skill related to learning visually. But this is not true for many others and it isn't because they are dumb, uneducated or don't read much.

Choc

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Author: anuvaka Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16971 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/24/2004 11:03 PM
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NotMaggie's post made me think of behaviors that I wouldn't be willing to deal with on a date.
But I was thinking, what else?


this is easy, only one. Liars and Thieves.

but explaining it is not. would you like to go to the (whatever)? Oh I Love that! (liar! you said yes to any date with me so you can get in with the group i hang with. I am not IT, you have ulterior motives))

Feminie Wiles fall into this category. Blunt like NotMaggie is better in the long run.

the Thieves take a whole different outlook. "Oh wount you buy me one of those?" "Dont you love me?" so the reson i am here is to fill you wants as long as my wallet is full. after that i am useless? i have also learned not to lend credit cards or have her name put onto your card.

this easily explains why i value Honesty and Compassion the most.

jC

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Author: anuvaka Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16973 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/24/2004 11:42 PM
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Spelling is not the sole measure of intelligence, and I doubt anyone here meant to say that.

However...people who read learn to spell (unless they really are stupid and incapable of learning), so it follows that a bad speller is an infrequent reader and therefore, most likely, a less interesting and educated person than many of us would like to spend time with.


gotta call you on that one. Sarah has an IQ over 150 (at 12) read harry potter in 5 days in her bedroom and cant spell anything at all. she almost failed her grade twice because of it, but has made it to highschool. she is also dyslectic so she has a Much harder time reading anything than any other child would. her intelligence and perseverance got her thru.

me? i dont use a spell checker in posting. and most of my misspellings are bad typing and bad habbits. some people Know how to spell, like my Mom. to others it is not logical. i had to Learn to spell, and i read all the time, since i was 4.
jC

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Author: anuvaka Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16974 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/25/2004 12:17 AM
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SweetPee,
Spelling doesn't prove overall intelligence.

Nor does education for that matter.
============================================
It's probably a better indicator of intelligence, but I find a lot of the intellectual types are not very street smart. That statement has nothing to do with Cindi.My sister always did well in school...Straight A's.Did very well in college as well. Not to long ago she got hustled on the street...


i think you are trying to say there are different kinds of inteligence and no one has all of them.

one of the best operators at work cant really read, has trouble writing but can draw you a picture of what he is speaking about. he is not illiterate, it;s just to much effort.

i know an engineer (with a PE) who if he picks up a screwdriver i recomend stop, drop and roll under something heavy.

did you go to a boy-girl grammer school? i'll bet there were more A student girls. (it changes later for differnt reasons)

did you ever have a Female mechanic fix your car? i only know one.

the manager of engineering and maintenance can fix anything about the house. he has a rolodex and a portable phone and knows them all by first name. his wife thinks he is an incompetent boob.

i also met a guy whose IQ approached 200. i know, it dont go that high. they really could not measure him. he had 2 masters and a solid teaching position. being so unhappy he quit and about 2 years later landed a job as a janitor/ maitenance man in a school. he is still there.


there is more to inteligence than sex, ability, education, training, memory, verbal ability or creative thinking. it can be all, some or none of the aforementioned. it's what we percieve as inteligent

jC



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Author: anuvaka Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 16975 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/25/2004 12:26 AM
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hey how come i always read these posts 50 at a time and end up with all my replys bunched together at the end?

never mind, it's bed tyme.

good nite to all the un intaligent bad spelers on the bards.

jC

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Author: sofaking6 Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 17015 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/26/2004 12:03 PM
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me? i dont use a spell checker in posting. and most of my misspellings are bad typing and bad habbits. some people Know how to spell, like my Mom. to others it is not logical. i had to Learn to spell, and i read all the time, since i was 4.

If you were (are) a guy, I still wouldn't date you, because you write like a 10 year old. Not that it's any big deal to you but that's something that's important to me, and in my experience spelling IS correlated to education, self or otherwise.

6

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Author: whafa Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 17016 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/26/2004 12:11 PM
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If you were (are) a guy, I still wouldn't date you, because you write like a 10 year old. Not that it's any big deal to you but that's something that's important to me, and in my experience spelling IS correlated to education, self or otherwise.

Education, yes. Intelligence, perhaps. My step-brother is brilliant and can't spell or use proper grammar to save his life. I think he just doesn't care too much.

Me, I just don't think I could relate to someone who uses "your" instead of "you're", or "there" when they mean "their". The stuff just seems so OBVIOUS to me, I have trouble understanding how someone could muck it up.

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Author: TweeKitten Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 17017 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/26/2004 12:18 PM
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My step-brother is brilliant and can't spell or use proper grammar to save his life. I think he just doesn't care too much.

It's the "not caring too much" that would send up a big, red warning flag for me. I'm not saying it's wrong not to care, but I DO care and I'd prefer to date someone who also cares.

Twee


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Author: anuvaka Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 17077 of 32850
Subject: Re: Can't stand it, won't deal with it. Date: 7/26/2004 7:35 PM
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If you were (are) a guy, I still wouldn't date you,

Thank You!

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