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Author: bisous73 One star, 50 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 75  
Subject: combined finances Date: 3/14/2001 1:10 PM
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I posted this on the wedding chapel board, but thought i might have better luck here.

Although I'm not quite a newlywed couple, I'm half of an engaged couple... :) (will be a newly wed in may2002)

and here is my post.....

********************

well, i think this is my second post to this board.... and this is sort of just a little bit of a rant... and also wondering if anyone has suggestions for me... and my fiance.

the situation is this... we have combined our money and I'm in charge of it, since my fiance really isn't money-minded. He, of course, agreed to let me do what i want/need to do, to get our bills paid, ect....and he would listen to me, about what we can and can't spend/buy/do....

well, of course, as you can imagine, this system has had it's ups and downs.... I have showed him the budget numerous times, and he looks it over, asks a few questions, and then agrees, that everythign looks good. But then the weekend rolls around, and he wants to do this, or that, or buy something... and I end up being the bad guy, by saying no, we can't, or no, we don't have the money, ect. leads to a "discussion"... I get hurt, and say i don't want to be in charge of the money, we will seperate everything, ect... and he says NO, please, no... I'm sorry.... ect.

so then we go back to me being in charge, and working things out. and him trying to take an active roll in it, and it works for awhile... until something else comes up.

So anyways, the point of this post.... I'm tired of this rollercoaster ride....

HOW can i get him to see the financial picture more clearly, and get him to pay more attention, and actually follow the budget and watch his spending during the week?? any ideas, thoughts??
the thought has crossed my mind, that we could "take away" his debit card, and just give him cash for the week... but that seems a little too harsh/childish to me, and i really don't want it to come to that.

BUt, I'm tired of being looked at, as the bad guy... and yet, I don't want to seperate the finances really, because his will fall apart, and I don't want that to happen (because in the future, we will eventually want to buy a house, or something, and his financial past will count, you know?)

I guess this weekend, I will have a chance to sit down and talk to him about it seriously (He is in the Marines, and away on a DET) ... so any suggestions by then are MORE then welcome.

thanks in advance.
tasha
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