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This is especially for very warped individuals. The object of this game is to ruin the wish of the person before you in the most awful way you can imagine, then to make a wish for the next person to ruin.

Like this:

Person 1: I wish I had a million dollars.

Person 2: Poof! You have a million dollars. In Monopoly money.
I wish I had a maserati.

Person 3: You have a Maserati. Made by Matchbox.
I wish I had a boyfriend who cared more about his appearance.

Person 4: You DO have a boyfriend who cares very much about his appearance. Here: http://et.tv.yahoo.com/celebrities/etsid2910170012291/
I wish I had some time off.

Person 5: You have all the time off you could wish for because you've been fired.
I wish .....



Wanna play? :D Don't forget to make a wish after you corrupt the one before you!

I'll go first.

I wish I knew everything.
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I wish I knew everything.

Congratulations; you know everything. So much for ever watching (football/baseball/hockey/NASCAR/the Olympics) again. Have fun with your buddies next Sunday, as you get drunk and give them the play-by-play just before it happens. Can you say "angry mob"? But just imagine what fun you'll be at the dean's cocktail party!

P.S. -- your spouse still thinks you're a blowhard.

***

I wish my boyfriend were more attentive.
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I found it via Heather Armstrong's www.dooce.com. She's the chick who got fired for writing about work on her blog. She is hysterical. She makes me shot coffee out of my nose.


*Poof* - your boyfriend is now a crazy psycho stalker.

RJ


PS, I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard, and, AND, I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any other weird surprises. You got it?
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oops, that was in response to your boyfriend being more attnetve thing
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I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard, and, AND, I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any other weird surprises. You got it?

*Poof* - You have a turkey sandwich. It's a sandwich made in Turkey. But it has baklava, boiled octopus, mackerel, and celery root....all between two pieces of bread.



I wish for world peace.




Duck
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Poof, your world is at peace. Unfortunatly, you are resting in peace because you are dead.

I wish for a full scholarship to U of M for my PhD.
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Poof! You have a scholarship. But if you read the fine print.... by using this scholarship, you agree to: 1.sweep every floor in the entire college every day. 2.Use only the credit cards endorsed by the college ( for your entire life )( intrest a trivial 1990%), 3.carry a balance of 20,000 dollars every month and 4. give every other dollar that you ever earn to the college.( ouch )




I wish that I could program Java, C, C++, Assembely and Delphi perfectly without any bugs ever. ( Ha, top that! ).

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I wish that I could program Java, C, C++, Assembely and Delphi perfectly without any bugs ever.

Congratulations, you can program Java, C, C++, Assembly and Delphi perfectly without any bugs ever.

You weigh 200 pounds with no clothes on, have at least three pimples on every square inch of your body, eat Twinkies and Jolt for every meal, and have never seen a woman's breast, except your mother's, which you found disturbingly erotic. You will never get laid in your entire life, and will only ever associate with other programming geeks, whose kung fu is pathetically less fantastic than yours, and besides, they cannot name every Federation Starship and you can. Nyah, nyah, nyah. Now sing: My-a-HEE, My-a-HOO, My-a-HA, My-a-HAHA ...

I wish I could afford my goddamn heating oil bill.
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Poof! You can afford it! Now you just have to pay off your 4 credit cards that you used to pay it and you'll be finished!

I wish I could beat the computer on Age of Empires II with 7 other players against me on hardest....

Lord Mactalon
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I wish I could beat the computer on Age of Empires II with 7 other players against me on hardest....

Poof! You can beat the computer on Age of Empires II with 7 other players against you on hardest.

Nothing I can say will make this any worse than it already is.



I wish I could win my division at the North American Grappling Association tournament without seriously injuring myself.
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Poof! you can umm.. Grapple?

Well, that knock on your front door? That's Mike Tyson, he wants to Grapple with you, with his fists!

... I wish that people would stop fighting against the war in Iraq....

Lord Mactalon

P.S. Why do you say
Nothing I can say will make this any worse than it already is.


It's great fun!
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P.S. Why do you say
Nothing I can say will make this any worse than it already is.


Ah. Well, about that, please see http://boards.fool.com/Message.asp?mid=23787134 above.

I wish that people would stop fighting against the war in Iraq.

Poof! People are no longer fighting against the war in Iraq -- not since the unbelievably successful "Glass-It-Over Op" was launched. But I hope you are well fixed for canned goods, plastic tarp and duct tape, 'cause the Ayatollah says you're really gonna need 'em. Your house does have a basement, right?

I wish the press guy at the museum would quit jerking me around and set an interview date already.
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I wish the press guy at the museum would quit jerking me around and set an interview date already.

Your wish has been granted. It turns out you are now world famous because your parents were both Rwanda genocide collaborators who have remained in hiding successfully until now. Now, you being their child, everyone wants to photograph you non-stop, you have Poparazzi trailing you, and a mob of photographers has crushed every living thing in your yard. Also, you are sought in co-conspiracy charges for allegedly helping to cover up your parents involvement. However, before you are hauled to jail the press guy at the museum set an interview date for you.


I wish I had a collection of really good music I never got tired of listening to.
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I wish I had a collection of really good music I never got tired of listening to.


Poof! You have a HUGE library of music. Now all your freinds are asking... "Can I borrow this.. and maybe this.... I'll bring it back tomarrow! PLEAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEE?" ...... Next day:

"Where's my CD's?"
"Umm... wellllll, would you belive my dog ate them? Say, can I borrow this one? Ooohhh, here's my favorite! Can I take that one too?"

I wish I was a chess grandmaster. ( that does not have ANYTHING to do wih being a nerd just so you know... )


Signed,

Lord Mactalon
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Thanks for extinguishing the human race.
I wish for the perfect fitting pair of shoes that never wear out.
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PS, I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard, and, AND, I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any other weird surprises. You got it?

Bagged spinach is never a weird suprise.


I wish for the pill that cures all ills.
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I wish for a full scholarship to U of M for my PhD

Congratulations, the University of Mcmurdo station claims that the check is in the mail.

I wish for coffee and tobacco that taste as good as they smell.

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I wish that I could program Java, C, C++, Assembely and Delphi perfectly without any bugs ever. ( Ha, top that! ).

Congratulations, the entire human race has somehow become subservient to an Apple II.


Unarmed, I wish to walk into the DMW and not have to wait in line.
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I wish I could afford my goddamn heating oil bill.

congratulations on getting a new address in Hell.

I wish that my dogs wouldn't scratch my hardwood floors.

Oh no I don't, I know where you sick bustads are going with this one.


Instead, I wish that no garmets had scratchy labels.

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I wish I could beat the computer on Age of Empires II with 7 other players against me on hardest....

Congratulations, you can, but not in this universe. You are being transferred to the Universe where you will win but that requires operating in eight dimensions without significant body parts, your cranium is halved, your neocortex is spot welded to an organic computer and your life expectancy is three seconds after you win. Enjoy the protracted celebration.

I wish I really wasn't a geek in High School.
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I wish I could win my division at the North American Grappling Association tournament without seriously injuring myself.

You will win. Unfortuneately, it will be because of a name change. You will win the North American Gropeing Association Tournament without serious injury.
Everyone will be pretty sure that it was the extended practice that kept you from getting injured. Or the Roofies.

Honest to goodness, I so wish I had rhythm
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I wish that people would stop fighting against the war in Iraq....

congratulations, changing the "q" to an "n" puts us one day closer to muclear holocaust.


I wish that all pickles tasted like vlassic kosher dills.
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I wish the press guy at the museum would quit jerking me around and set an interview date already.


congratulations this will happen. However, you will be hounded until you die as being the last person to talk to "press guy" before he went on his 48 state killing spree.

I wish exaust fumes would smell like Christmas.
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I wish I had a collection of really good music I never got tired of listening to.

congratulations. We have performed a frontal lobotomy and your short term memory has been destroyed.

I wish that I could understand all the lyrics of every song recorded by REM

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I wish I was a chess grandmaster. ( that does not have ANYTHING to do wih being a nerd just so you know... )

congratulations. You are the second grandmaster on the planet to be humiliated by a computer.

I wish I was the person who invented music.

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I wish exhaust fumes would smell like Christmas.

Aha, one I can handle.

Poof! They do! Now, more kids (and stoned teens) die each year from putting their face right up to the pipe so they can "smell Santa" than off themselves and their buddies combined playing with their parents' unlocked guns.

I wish my mother would stop complaining about the expense of attending my wedding.
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I wish I was the person who invented music.

You were. Briefly. About the sabretooth, sorry.

I wish my knee would heal up quickly.
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I wish my mother would stop complaining about the expense of attending my wedding.



Poof! She's dead.


I wish it was 5:00.
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Poof! They do! Now, more kids (and stoned teens) die each year from putting their face right up to the pipe so they can "smell Santa" than off themselves and their buddies combined playing with their parents' unlocked guns.

And this is a bad thing?

I wish my mother would stop complaining about the expense of attending my wedding.

You're charging your mother admission?

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I wish my knee would heal up quickly.

It does. Sorry about my overdue accounts man, your formerly good knee and mistaken identity thing.

I wish I had a place in Tahiti.

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I wish it was 5:00.


It is; am


I wish I had a two day/ eight hour per day work week and a five day weekend with no emergengcies and the perfect job.
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Poof! Your two work days start at 3:00 am and your workdays are Saturday and Sunday. All your friends work weekdays, so you cannot see/call them on their weekend, because you are at work.
Your perfect job has no stress and no emergencies, unfortunately, it is located in the Antarctic and only pays $0.02 per hour. It is located so faraway from any other human being that you have to travel three hours to go to the grocery store. (and of course, gasoline for the car costs more than you make in a year). The temperature in the summer is a balmy -20 degrees (don't get me started about the winter temperature)!
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Here's my 2 Cents!
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