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Author: Tuni Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 441338  
Subject: Cremation - totally OT Date: 11/19/2012 10:53 AM
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This seems like a good place to ask opinions: ;)

We would like to be cremated. And, I think, pre-planning for this "event" is the way to go as not to be a burden to our kids.

I've heard of the Neptune Society/National Cremation Society etc.....checked BBB ratings and there have been some complaints (guess from relatives????) however they have "A" ratings for the most part. I'd like ashes to be disposed of at sea. We are entitled to Veteran's benefits also.

Has anyone any knowledge of these companies? Bad/Good experiences with them etc... What should I look for/check into etc...

Thoughts and advice please?
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Author: Jeanwa Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 413249 of 441338
Subject: Re: Cremation - totally OT Date: 11/19/2012 11:06 AM
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I went through a local mortuary/crematorium. My mother and mother-in-law had done the same thing. It was different states, different mortuaries. My mother had a service, my MIL did not.

The local mortuary/crematorium is set up with a national plan, so it doesn't matter if I move. It might be Neptune Society. I can check later if you want.



Jean

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Author: feedmeNOWhuman Big funky green star, 20000 posts Top Recommended Fools Old School Fool CAPS All Star Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 413254 of 441338
Subject: Re: Cremation - totally OT Date: 11/19/2012 12:10 PM
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We would like to be cremated. And, I think, pre-planning for this "event" is the way to go as not to be a burden to our kids.




So is next week a good time?

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Author: 0x6a74 Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 413256 of 441338
Subject: Re: Cremation - totally OT Date: 11/19/2012 12:22 PM
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ii

I've heard of the Neptune Society/National Cremation Society etc.....checked BBB ratings and there have been some complaints (guess from relatives????) however


I'm signed up with Neptune
(Ashes-2-Ocean is the hydroPantheist way)
seemed nice people; lots of choices;
don't recall any VA bennie

told after they're on the expensive side

read the reviews after (as is my wont);
felt the problems were an individual thing
individual location with individual customer




(btw, Mom pre-arranged with mortuary and
it was a 'godsend' --- LBS

and prepay can be something of an
inflation hedge?

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Author: 0x6a74 Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 413257 of 441338
Subject: Re: Cremation - totally OT Date: 11/19/2012 12:26 PM
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The local mortuary/crematorium is set up with a national plan, so it doesn't matter if I move. It might be Neptune Society. I can check later if you want.



good point
iirc, Neptune sold a kind of insurance thing that would ship you
home if killed beyond AAA towing range

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Author: DufusGoneSplat Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 413262 of 441338
Subject: Re: Cremation - totally OT Date: 11/19/2012 1:37 PM
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... pre-planning for this "event" is the way to go as not to be a burden to our kids.

I would think pre-planning has it good and bad points. My mom's wishes changed a few time in her last years. FWIW, I would think pre-planning locks you in while times might change.

While we all knew my mom's wishes to be cremated, it wasn't documented - and because it wasn't documented, every sibling had to notarize their consent for cremation. Just so you know ....




Has anyone any knowledge of these companies? Bad/Good experiences with them etc... What should I look for/check into etc...

I haven't had experience with the companies you mentioned, but as my mom's time approached, I did some research. Prices vary wildly.

Being in the Denver-Metro area, I selected "A Basic Cremation". They had an A+ rating with the BBB and a total price (w/o service) of $795. The only "disadvantage" was two to three weeks to get ashes and paperwork. I was very satisfied with their service. If I wanted it in one week, they had an affiliate, All-States Cremation (also A+ with BBB) for $1,250.

I would do what you're doing - check prices, ratings and services offered. Good Luck!

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Author: 1poorguy Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool CAPS All Star Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 413263 of 441338
Subject: Re: Cremation - totally OT Date: 11/19/2012 1:49 PM
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I don't really see the point to pre-planning. Use the money for something else. Kid can either use some of inheritance for it, or just let the state toss me into a hole. I'm dead, it won't matter.

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Author: sano Big funky green star, 20000 posts Top Recommended Fools Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 413265 of 441338
Subject: Re: Cremation - totally OT Date: 11/19/2012 2:04 PM
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Good money in cremation, NTTAWWT

http://www.neptunesociety.org/_mgxroot/page_10782.php

Which Neptune Society?

"Technically speaking, there are four unique ownership groups for the name Neptune Society. Neptune Society offices in California are independently-owned and not franchises. There are different policies, prices and management among the independent Neptune Societies. Each office has a “territory,” usually by County, and complies with the agreement made with the other offices to refrain from crossing county lines.

In 1980, The Nautilus Society was founded as a subsidiary of the Neptune Society of Central California and the Neptune Society of Orange County.

The Neptune Society of Orange County is not affiliated with the Neptune Society of Northern California (which is owned by Stewart Enterprises).

The Neptune Society of Orange County is not affiliated with the Neptune Society® serving Ventura, Los Angeles, and Santa Barbara Counties or it’s subsidiary founded in 1997, the Trident Society®.

The Neptune Society of Orange County is not affiliated with the Neptune Society of San Diego serving San Diego, Riverside, or San Bernardino counties."


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Author: Tuni Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 413268 of 441338
Subject: Re: Cremation - totally OT Date: 11/19/2012 2:24 PM
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we live in South Florida - went to the site you mention, some good questions to ask there...

thx

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Author: 0x6a74 Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 413279 of 441338
Subject: Re: Cremation - totally OT Date: 11/19/2012 4:38 PM
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I don't really see the point to pre-planning. Use the money for something else. Kid can either use some of inheritance for it, or just let the state toss me into a hole. I'm dead, it won't matter.



it relieves some stress ..... but ,yeah, she might prefer the dough.
(toss into hole pretty much most expensive thing ...unless you count >shot into orbit<)


..when Dad died, Mom had to do everything: all the arranging, all the deciding. She got the full-court press from the mortuary: Don't you think he DESERVES the super-delux casket etc etc? Only her innate scrooginess stopped her and she felt bad for a time ...till we reminded her Dad would rather a trash bag than give the mortuary any unnecessary money.

When Mom died, i'd just been laid off AND just got out of hospital ,so i was even more uesless than usual ...pre-arrranged meant Sister had little arranging and NO deciding to do. Because Dad's family serious Catholic, her family serious LDS and our family lax if not athiest, she figured there might be a conflict there so specified: anyone can invite ANY one to attend, but NOOONE is to speak ..so Aunt came with her priest and he was politely silent ( a BIL had had a priest speak at his funeral and the priest came real close to the "too bad he wasn't religious enough ... you all have time to change your ways!!" and Mom did NOT want any of that crap )

and, thanks to her innate scrooginess, she left enough assets that a few K$ more wouldn't matter

whereas ,i, being TMF and thus ,genius investor, expect to leave enough that a few K$ shouldn't matter (esp'ly since i'm leaving nearly everything to my Cat <g>)

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Author: rmhj Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 413293 of 441338
Subject: Re: Cremation - totally OT Date: 11/19/2012 6:06 PM
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1pg: I don't really see the point to pre-planning. Use the money for something else. Kid can either use some of inheritance for it, or just let the state toss me into a hole. I'm dead, it won't matter.

Before the fact, it's a lot easier to negotiate prices and details, and harder for someone to convince your relatives of 'what you would have wanted'.

rj

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Author: 1poorguy Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool CAPS All Star Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 413295 of 441338
Subject: Re: Cremation - totally OT Date: 11/19/2012 6:18 PM
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...harder for someone to convince your relatives of 'what you would have wanted'.

Not that discussions/wills should not occur. I just don't see the point in spending the money. I will be sure 1poorkid knows that a trash bag is just fine. Or cremation. Whichever is cheaper. No service, but feel free to have a party (a.k.a. Irish wake, but it's just a party). :-)

It's an empty, lifeless husk. Just get rid of it. I'm gone, don't sweat it.

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Author: rmhj Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 413296 of 441338
Subject: Re: Cremation - totally OT Date: 11/19/2012 7:02 PM
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1pg: Not that discussions/wills should not occur. I just don't see the point in spending the money. I will be sure 1poorkid knows that a trash bag is just fine. Or cremation. Whichever is cheaper. No service, but feel free to have a party (a.k.a. Irish wake, but it's just a party). :-)

It's an empty, lifeless husk. Just get rid of it. I'm gone, don't sweat it.


I'm sure that 1pk will know that, but what about all your brothers and sisters and fu[n]damentalist relatives, who think that the cremation, garbage bag, and backyard burial is disrespectful?

My wishes are very similar, but I would rather my offspring are saved the grief of well-meaning but ignorant relatives.

People are remarkably able to attribute wishes and intents to the deceased, not rarely while utterly ignorant of their actual wishes.

rj
(If you want an example about something other than burial, Johnny Cash to nearly his last breath was decrying W's charge to war against Iraq. His well-wishers, however, gave and give his offspring grief about how he would have supported the war, in direct contradiction to his expressed positions.)

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Author: JAFO31 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 413302 of 441338
Subject: Re: Cremation - totally OT Date: 11/19/2012 8:43 PM
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1poorguy:

<<<...harder for someone to convince your relatives of 'what you would have wanted'.>>>

"Not that discussions/wills should not occur. I just don't see the point in spending the money. I will be sure 1poorkid knows that a trash bag is just fine. Or cremation. Whichever is cheaper. No service, but feel free to have a party (a.k.a. Irish wake, but it's just a party). :-)

It's an empty, lifeless husk. Just get rid of it. I'm gone, don't sweat it."


1pk may know perfectly well, but nonetheless may be susceptible to manipulation because of her gried by way of upselling or (and as another poster noted), other relatives and friends.

If you choose and prepay, then that is fewer decisions to be made by 1pk while grieving and less opportunity for emotional manipulation.

Just my $0.02.

Regards, JAFO

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Author: CountUpp Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 413303 of 441338
Subject: Re: Cremation - totally OT Date: 11/19/2012 9:00 PM
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If you choose and prepay, then that is fewer decisions to be made by 1pk while grieving and less opportunity for emotional manipulation.

Just my $0.02.

Regards, JAFO


What JAFO said.

Count Upp

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Author: 1poorguy Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool CAPS All Star Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 413319 of 441338
Subject: Re: Cremation - totally OT Date: 11/20/2012 10:07 AM
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I'm sure that 1pk will know that, but what about all your brothers and sisters and fu[n]damentalist relatives, who think that the cremation, garbage bag, and backyard burial is disrespectful?

The only one I'd have to worry about is 1poorlady. Beyond that I basically have no family. My brother is dead. 1poormom already knows (and agrees) with my views on fancy funerals (1poorbrother was cremated). 1poordad and all grandparents are dead. I have no first cousins. I think I have second cousins I've never met (and who probably don't know I exist). One aunt whom I almost never see.

But, yeah, it does need to be spelled-out in a will anyway. Especially for people who are more similar to your scenario (lots of busy-body relatives).

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Author: 1poorguy Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool CAPS All Star Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 413322 of 441338
Subject: Re: Cremation - totally OT Date: 11/20/2012 10:16 AM
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If you choose and prepay,...

This does bring up an interesting question. What is the absolute cheapest way I can have my husk dealt with? And how can I make sure it happens no matter where I happen to be (I have visions of mountains and trees in my retirement, though we'll see...may be stuck here in the desert).

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Author: JamesBrown Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 413325 of 441338
Subject: Re: Cremation - totally OT Date: 11/20/2012 10:22 AM
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This does bring up an interesting question. What is the absolute cheapest way I can have my husk dealt with?

Donate to science, or a medical school?

I do know that in such cases your body is eventually cremated, and some institutions deposit your ashes in a kind of garden area, so that your family can visit you in your final resting place.

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Author: 1poorguy Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool CAPS All Star Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 413330 of 441338
Subject: Re: Cremation - totally OT Date: 11/20/2012 10:36 AM
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Donate to science, or a medical school?

Ooooh! Interesting idea. I wonder if that's tax-deductible for 1poorlady or 1poorkid (or my estate...not sure how the tax thing works since the survivor will get everything).

Then the institution handles it from there.

Now I have to figure out how to do that...do I specify an institution, or just write in "donate to science", or what?

Not too worried about "resting place". Like I said, no family to speak of. 1poorlady might care, but 1pk doesn't strike me as that sentimental. 1poorbrother's ashes were dumped over the Grand Canyon (his favorite place).

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Author: CountUpp Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 413345 of 441338
Subject: Re: Cremation - totally OT Date: 11/20/2012 12:52 PM
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But, yeah, it does need to be spelled-out in a will anyway. Especially for people who are more similar to your scenario (lots of busy-body relatives).

Wills aren't red until well after the burial.

Count Upp

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Author: DufusGoneSplat Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 413354 of 441338
Subject: Re: Cremation - totally OT Date: 11/20/2012 2:23 PM
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Now I have to figure out how to do that...do I specify an institution, or just write in "donate to science", or what?

I would check with crematoriums or funeral homes.

Free cremation is available for those who wish to consider whole body donation. We are now able to offer no cost cremation through our partnership with Science Care, the Nation's first accredited whole body donation program.

http://allstatescremation.com/html/no_cost.htm


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Author: 1DEG Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 413357 of 441338
Subject: Re: Cremation - totally OT Date: 11/20/2012 2:39 PM
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Now I have to figure out how to do that...do I specify an institution, or just write in "donate to science", or what?

If you go this route, please make arrangements in advance. This is what we did for my sister. She didn't want to make arrangements herself, because it felt too depressing. Ok, I get that. But the she also didn't sign her power of attorney form correctly, which would have enabled me to sign the consents. Instead, both of my parents had to do so. The consent for this is pretty detailed, and is very upsetting to have to go through after you just lost someone you love very much. My dad, in particular, had a really hard time with it. Not because he didn't agree, but because he did not want to hear that description of his daughter's body in that moment. Spare your daughter.

We used a company called science care. They are national and use local funeral homes for logistics, so yes, the same arrangements would work no matter where you retire. They find research studies that can use your tissue, and then cremate the rest and send your remains back to your family. It is free, but I don't think it's tax deductible because the value you provided in giving tissue is offset by the value of the cremation services your family received.

Other than the awful consent process, we were very happy with them in that they were efficient and speedy, and just took care of everything without further contact.

DEG

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Author: 1poorguy Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool CAPS All Star Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 413359 of 441338
Subject: Re: Cremation - totally OT Date: 11/20/2012 2:47 PM
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I'll check them out...thanks.

http://www.sciencecare.com/

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Author: skymou One star, 50 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 413380 of 441338
Subject: Re: Cremation - totally OT Date: 11/20/2012 6:50 PM
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> Now I have to figure out how to do that...do I specify an institution, or just write in "donate to science", or what?

Contact a nearby medical school. They are very grateful to receive bodies for medical practice. They will send or fax a form for you to fill out. When you die, they arrange all the details including pickup of the body. I recommend you choose one that will do this at any time (dying does not respect holidays, as we found out).

In northern VA we made arrangements with George Washington University for my wife who died of cancer. (Medical schools have different criteria and some may not take cancer victims.) After one year, the university cremated her body and returned the ashes.

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