Message Font: Serif | Sans-Serif
 
UnThreaded | Threaded | Whole Thread (8) | Ignore Thread Prev Thread | Next Thread
Author: cswelch Two stars, 250 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 274  
Subject: Dating--when? Date: 9/13/2007 7:53 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll . Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 2
According to Miss Manners, one may begin dating after a year. However, for some this may be way too soon.

I began dating two years after my beloved husband passed away.

The first was an unbelievably good looking fella of 50 who turned out to be the biggest horses' patoot around. He was egotistical and very much "MeMeMe."

After him, I was asked out by a guy who lived about thirty miles away who had to get to my apartment (at the time) on the bus line. He was a chef and used to make chicken cordon bleu for me. He asked me to marry him after we had been friends about a year and I pondered: he had no home, no car and no prospects, which sounds kind of snobby, but there was nothing to offer me, and I would have lost my disability too.

Next I went out with a policeman about five times. He was nice enough but he wanted to change me too much. Lose weight. Cut and color your hair. Get those long, long fake nails with designs on them. (Oooooh!) If that was the scenario during a very short courtship, what would he have been like if the relationship had become more serious?

All in all, none of these (and there have been none since after I gained a LOT of weight when I quit smoking for two years) compared with my DH. My husband was wonderful. I can't find too much wrong with him. I wonder if, in retrospect, I began to maximize his good traits and minimize his not so salient ones.

I don't know if I will ever marry again. We spent nineteen years together--nineteen very happy years and while I can see myself with a friendly companion to eat out with, talk to, and go to the movies with, I see no other prospects and don't expect any for now. It's been four years now and I have grown accustomed to being single. Sleeping alone was the hardest for me. I even miss his snoring!

Perhaps I will make new friends in the 50+ singles group my church sponsors. I have my first function on Sunday afternoon to play Bingo and am greatly looking forward to meeting my church's set of singles.

Yet, gosh, I miss him. I really, really miss him.

And always will.

Cathy "Cat"
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll . Report this Post | Recommend it!
Print the post Back To Top
Author: AlisonWonderland Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 248 of 274
Subject: Re: Dating--when? Date: 9/13/2007 11:25 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll . Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 3
I wonder if, in retrospect, I began to maximize his good traits and minimize his not so salient ones.

I've read that the things that used to drive a person nuts were often the things that were missed the most when they were gone.

~~ Alison

Print the post Back To Top
Author: cswelch Two stars, 250 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 249 of 274
Subject: Re: Dating--when? Date: 9/14/2007 3:01 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll . Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 0
Alison, you are absolutely right. I think the thing I miss most is his snoring, but now that I am living in the group home, I have two roommates who lull me to sleep with a sound that resembles as wood chipper.

I miss him saying my name in Pig Latin.

I miss his quaint little East Texas expressions, like 'It's raining like a cow pi**ing on a flat rock.'

That used to annoy me no end, so much that I would dread the rain!

There is a whole list of things that I miss that were annoying to me at the time.

Thanks for reminding me of some bittersweet memories of him,

Cathy "Cat"

Print the post Back To Top
Author: AlisonWonderland Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 250 of 274
Subject: Re: Dating--when? Date: 9/14/2007 6:04 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll . Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 0
{{{{{ Cathy "Cat" }}}}}

don't know what else to say.

~~ Alison

Print the post Back To Top
Author: RainyDayWoman Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 251 of 274
Subject: Re: Dating--when? Date: 9/14/2007 7:35 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll . Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 0
I don't say I'll NEVER date, on the "never say never" theory.

On the other hand, I'm really not into kissing a lot of frogs looking for another prince.

...and why settle for hamburger after I've had steak...

...so I don't date, and don't accept blind dates through well-meaning friends who try to fix me up with someone.

I'm happy enough with my own company most of the time, but if somehow, by some miracle someone wonderful came into my life, well, maaaaybe.

LOL

RDW

*Coming up on 14 years this December. I have heard that widows usually remarry within a couple of years, or never. Hmmmm.

Print the post Back To Top
Author: AlisonWonderland Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 252 of 274
Subject: Re: Dating--when? Date: 9/14/2007 7:47 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll . Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 0
*Coming up on 14 years this December. I have heard that widows usually remarry within a couple of years, or never. Hmmmm.

My stepmother'd been a widow for a little more than 10 years before she and my father married.

One never knows.

~~ Alison

Print the post Back To Top
Author: Follydolly Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 253 of 274
Subject: Re: Dating--when? Date: 9/14/2007 9:54 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll . Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 1
After Jack died, I thought about dating quite a bit. But that was it, I just thought about it. Looking back, I was just 50 years old, and not so bad looking either. I joined a singles group, which was awful because it was full of bitter divorced women whose spouses had left them for younger women.

Then I joined a widow/widowers dinner group. Dinner was supposed to meet at 6 p.m. I would show up and they would be almost done with their dinners. Cripes, I don't eat at 5 p.m., I was barely finished with work.

The group was funny. It had some men that apparently were going to remain single no matter what. One dinner, a new widower came. He was nice looking, just retired, selling his house immediately and moving into a condo. The widows pounced on him with dinner invitations, etc. It was at that time I got so busy I lost interest in the widow group. I am sure he married one of them.

I have had two opportunities for marriage. One man, married another woman immediately after I rejected him. Funny, the woman he married was young and nice looking. A couple of years of marriage to him turned her into an old lady. I believe that both men were just looking for a home and security from me. Hey, that is what my late husband provided for me! Among many other wonderful things.

After ten years, I got BC and a double mastectomy. I figured that is the end of even entertaining the thought of trying to date. I am very happy on my own, I have friends, daughters, and grandkids and my seven dogs - the ones that sleep in my room snore.

Birgit

Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll . Report this Post | Recommend it!
Print the post Back To Top
Author: cswelch Two stars, 250 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 254 of 274
Subject: Re: Dating--when? Date: 9/14/2007 11:13 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll . Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 0
I have heard that widows remarry after two years or never.

_______________________
_______________________

Well, it's been four for me. I had hoped I might remarry someday, or at least have a companion. Oh well!

Cathy "Cat"

Print the post Back To Top
UnThreaded | Threaded | Whole Thread (8) | Ignore Thread Prev Thread | Next Thread
Advertisement