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Dear Diary,

It's Friday night... And I have turned down an offer to grab some beers with the boys... And another to have "din-din" with my family... And I have "real" work I can be doing...

But all I want to do is play with my CAPS. My ALL NEW Fall 2006 stylin' CAPS that have gone up over 300% from 3 and change into double digits! Yes, those caps, hahaha!

Earlier, my wife entered my lair-- pardon me, my "office." And my monologue went a little something like this...

"Honey, CAPS is not an 'addiction.' It's educational! And I'm making lots of friends. And I'm part of something special. We're building an investment Wonder of the World. Honest. You can email DavidG@Fool.Com and ask him yourself. Honey, baby... Tootsie! Are we really gonna leave your 401k in the hands of mutual funds? There's stocks in CAPS with more green thumbs up than an army of Martian Fonzies! Yes, I know I haven't shaved in six days or changed my drawers or, or, or even been nice, b-b-but. It's CAPS, damn you, CAPS! And mine are finally starting to show some life. So go away. Go now. LEAVE ME ALONE! I am going to get a score of a 100! My CAP will turn colors the world has never seen - hues of fuschia and aquamarine that are beyond this galaxy's spectrum of light! A man with a 100 CAPS score can rule the world! I'll get big job offers from Billionaires seeking my counsel. Investors will grovel at my feet and beg me for my knowledge. Kings will want to dine with me. Beautiful starlets will plead for my hand in marriage. O how they'll beg and I'll turn up my nose and say, 'Yes, but where were YOU starlets when I was little, bald and broke!' And... And... Okay, I'm going to step away from the computer now and take in some fresh Los Angeles air. I'm fine now, darling. Really I am. Please don't stare at me that way... I... I... I love you! And what is our child's name again? I love him... No, her... Her, yes, her too. Darling?"...

Something is happening, but you don't know what it is? Do you, Mr. Jones? HaHaHaHa. Oy.

Heeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrre Vonage Vonage Vonage. Come to daddy. I won't give you a red thumb, honest. I just want to look at you. And your little brother Raser too! Heeeeeeer boys. I said HERE'S JOHNNY!

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