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Dear Fools:

This is Mrs. IF. IF was hit by a bus today. Fortunately, he died quickly so he didn't endure much pain. I knew that cell phone would be the death of him. He told me that if anything ever happened to him, I should log into TMF and tell his online friends. Luckily, he never logged out of his account because I didn't know his password. I also don't know any of his passwords for our other accounts so I'll have to sort through the stacks of paper he hasn't filed for the last five years.

I'm glad he talked me into having a large efund. I'll need the extra cash to hire a poolboy to take care of our new pool. Hopefully his muscles will be nice and tight because IF was getting a little flabby towards the end. He was so damn cheap that he couldn't pass up any free food at work. The only organized thing he ever did was keep track of all the lunch meetings that were taking place everyday at work. He was a great provider for the family but I refused to eat any of the dinner rolls he brought home from his daily stop at the local Holiday Inn.

This is devastating to his daughter. It is her 10th birthday today. We were giving her a new fancy iPod for her birthday. Although he hated the blasted things, he wanted only the best for his kids. He loaded the memory with hundreds of songs and a few videos. He downloaded them all from the internet. I wasn't so sure about the legality of it but he told me some unwritten international rule allowed him to do that.

The city just called. They want me to pay to clean up the bits of IF that are splattered on the bus and street. This is an OUTRAGE. Don't they have any sympathy for the dead and their surviving relatives. I will not pay for this. I WILL NOT BE BALKED. Let's see them try to get money out of this poor widow.

Sorry, but I got to go now. Someone is here to take his SUV away. I posted it on freecycle right after his death. I always hated that damn SUV.

Thanks for being a friend to him all these years.


Mrs. IF
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